Career Conversations That Are Keeping You Stuck...

Hi Fam.

Let’s talk. Let’s talk about everything we are not talking about.

Disclaimer: This is an invitation to venture into spaces within that we’d rather not touch. You might want at this point to reconsider reading this one.

Ok, you are still here. Great, let’s get on with it.

Every year, I create time to reinvent myself. Shred everything, stitch things back meticulously and differently and patch the cracks with gold, like the Japanese. As I write this, I am getting ready for a 10 day intense and transformational coaching experience.

For the last couple of months, I have coined something I call The Invitation. Inspired by Oriah Mountain Dreamer’s poem, this is a powerful call to get real, raw, and true to how I am experiencing life. Every few weeks, shut everything down, invite me to this divine space where I set aside all that I know and ask; What is true right now in my career, in my relationships, in my business? What is this truth trying to reveal to me? What exhausts me right now? (things, people, tasks, obligations, errands, work). Sometimes, I know at the moment, sometimes I need days of contemplation and art for the divine insights to be revealed.

I want to know

if you can be alone

with yourself

and if you truly like

the company you keep

in the empty moments.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer

‘ The Invitation’

What I have found intriguing is extending an invitation to others. Hey, I have been thinking, perhaps we want to spend some time reimagining how our connection might grow? How else we could support each other? I know we are not the same people we used to be, I am wondering how can we tap into how we are evolving to amplify the greatness within us?

Nada. Mostly.

We’ve mastered setting boundaries even for conversations that are needed for our growth.

PS: Not all invitations are good for you, the wisdom is discerning the lethal from the authentic. Story for another day.

I have lost count of the number of times professionals share… ''I have never shared this with anyone else''. Or, ''Let me share this with you, I think you will understand''.

It puzzles me…what do you mean you’ve worked for 15 years and have never shared that your job sucks the life out of you and you’ve quit 1000 times with someone else? What do you mean, that me, a complete stranger, will understand you more than all the people in your circles?

As much as I refuse to accept this reality, I understand it. See, we don’t talk honestly and vulnerably about what the heck is going on in our careers. I won’t even get started on lives. This doesn’t help us, especially if we really want to ‘unstuck ourselves’ and move forward boldly in our careers. Undeniably, for many of us, our careers have become our identity. Thus we do everything to safeguard ourselves and keep our faces straight, no matter how bad things are. Especially if nothing else in our lives is working out, we hide in the pretense that our work is going on great.

Meanwhile, we continue to suffer within, our terrible work experiences haunt our dreams, and slowly our shine dims, and we are confined in a world we don’t even like but can’t get ourselves out of. We say we are making a living, but really, are we?

We meet our friends and whine about work and our colleagues and reluctantly throw our hands in the air and in unison agree ‘that’s life.

How can we break this cycle? I have no doubt it will take hard work, being honest with ourselves, letting go of spaces and networks that don’t serve our growth and our spirit, and choosing to take those scary first steps towards what we truly desire and deserve.

I believe having honest conversations with ourselves is a great place to start. What feels true to me right now? How is my playing small protecting me from realities I don’t want to face? What can I do this week to fan my inner fire? What exhausts me?

Once we are comfortable with sitting and being real with ourselves, only then can we invite others to join us. Yes, we risk our conversations being washed down, our initiative being ridiculed and all. And that’s great! If you are committed to living true to yourself, then you will know what to do at this point.

If you want to move boldly in your career, be the seed of constructive and intentional conversations in your circles.

• Ask people what their true dreams and desires are
• Ask them what else they would rather be doing than this job they keep complaining about
• Ask what type of manager they think they are and how they can get better
• Ask them what is sustaining them right now, as the world gets more bizarre
• Ask what exhausts them right now and how that is influencing how they show up
• Ask them about their childhood dreams, and that hobby they are yet to get started on

Ask the hard questions, watch those traveling a different path fall away, as those aligned to your fire slowly creep into your life.

May your conversations challenge and inspire you to move boldly!

PS: In case you haven't check out the latest real raw career love shots on my podcast https://anchor.fm/tamaskanxp

Sending you light & love

M