This Career Change Mistake Cost Me 5 Years of Sanity & Fun

MY "PLAN A" FAILED

After a few short months, I realized that my “dream job”…my Plan A…the “plan” that I fell somewhat blindly into by heeding the advice of “just follow your passion!” [sidenote: this doesn't work and here's why] wasn’t going to work anymore.

Cool.

Sincerely, cool!

This realization gave me the freedom to let go of any expectation of making my current situation work and that I could make my escape with my head held high in a way that was respectful, authentic, and unapologetically true to my values.

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BUT I WAS STUCK & NEEDED SUPPORT

And I had no idea where to start.???♀?

My education, training, and experience were all in a super niche industry.

What else could I even do?

Even worse, I had no idea who I could trust to help me figure it out.

Mentors? ?

If I told mentors, I thought that they would be crazy disappointed in me and I couldn’t stomach it. I mentioned it to a few. They were gracious with their time and offered some generic advice. But I couldn’t call them every week for a career strategy session. I didn’t want to be a leech. Besides, they helped me figure out this path, a path that we had in common. It wasn’t their job to help me figure out my new path. That’s out.

Managers? ?

Telling my current managers was too risky. What would that mean for my future professional development? Would that mean I’d be let go? Besides, there was that whole toxic environment that lacked trust thing. That’s out.

My Network? ?

Much of my network was in the same industry and they seemed perfectly happy with this work. I didn’t want to sound like I was complaining. I definitely didn’t want to out myself as a failure. And I wasn’t about to be Debbie Downer. That’s out.

Colleagues? ?

My colleagues and peers could see my struggle. They were supportive with listening ears and grimaced smiles. But they simply weren’t trained to help me dig deep, figure out what I was really awesome at, and pinpoint what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I couldn’t take any more “it’ll be okay”s and “I’m sorry, that sucks”s. Okay, that’s out.

Friends? ?

Most of my friends that weren’t in the same industry thought I had “the dream.” From the outside looking in, the work looked sexy and fun. They couldn’t believe I got paid to do what I did. Any mention of me not being happy led to something like, “You’re crazy. I’d kill to have your job!” Okay, that’s out.

Family? ?

I was blessed with amazingly supportive parents that have always trusted me to know what was best for me. To make my own decisions. Throughout my life this has really pissed me off. I just wanted someone to tell me exactly what I should do. They knew I was miserable, but as a teacher and a farmer they had never navigated this scenario before, and also didn’t really have the knowledge or tools to help me figure this out. At the time, my family was dealing with some serious medical issues. That’s out. ?

I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO ASK FOR HELP

The fear of these feelings and what I perceived to be the potential consequences of asking for help caused me to try to figure out what I was good at and what I actually wanted to be doing...completely on my own.

Now here was my biggest mistake I made during this crazy and exhausting 13-year process from a false dream to doing work I actually wake up every day excited to do.

Instead of pausing, analyzing the situation, and then making a serious investment in myself and my future by partnering with an expert - true to my blue collar, stubborn Polish/German Midwestern roots...

I decided to figure out my escape plan 100% on my own.

The proverbial pull myself up by my own gosh darn bootstraps.

SO MUCH WASTED TIME

And then it took me 5 years to actually get into the work that I wake up excited to do.

5. Freaking. Years.

5 years from when I hit that "I can't do this. But if not this, then what?!" moment.

5 years from when my job was sending me to the ER with stomach ulcers. [Here’s that story]

Now you might be thinking...

“But, Erin, you found it. You did it! You found the stuff you’re a freaking nerd about and can’t stop doing. Why was it such a mistake to figure it out on your own?”

But it didn’t need to take that long.

I wasted precious time that I could have spent doing the stuff I really love, not just the stuff I was good at or could figure out quickly.

I made silly mistakes I could have gotten in front of.

I chased false leads that weren’t exactly what I wanted because I hadn’t thought about my strengths, values, and meaningful work at a deep enough level.

A few examples:

• I applied like crazy on job boards because it gave me hope (never heard from any of those).
• I actually spent about a year pursuing enrollment in a PhD program in organizational behavior. This included studying for the GMAT, taking the test…twice, writing numerous applications, and even doing all-day interviews. And it wasn't until the interview process a year in, that I realized, "Nope, this isn't quite right either."

I burned important relationships because I didn’t know the norms and etiquette of talking about wanting to make a change or the nuances of networking.

I lost out on potentially awesome relationships because I was too proud to ask for help.

I stressed constantly that I wasn’t doing it right, doing enough, doing what I should be doing.

THERE'S A BETTER WAY...??

Because I love being efficient and cherish time because we just never know what could happen tomorrow...and because I'm a nerd that really needed to know how dumb this mistake way...I ran the numbers to see how much time I wasted by doing my career change solo.

And I felt like someone punched me in the gut.

In those 5 years, I spent:

• ? 260 weeks questioning if I was actually headed in the right direction.
• ? 1,826 days learning job search techniques and strategies by trial and error.
• ? 43,824 hours spinning in confusion, overwhelm, doubt, and fear.

As in all things, I trust the process.

I truly believe everything happens for a reason.

I wouldn’t change my choices or the first decade of my career.

But I can’t help but wonder…

HOW MUCH MORE ENERGY, JOY, AND IMPACT COULD I HAVE HAD IN THOSE 5 YEARS HAD IN INVESTED IN SUPPORT TO HELP ME FIGURE OUT WHAT I'M EVEN GOOD AT AND WHAT I ACTUALLY WANTED TO BE DOING FOR WORK?

If you're in a similar spot right now, or have someone in your life who is, I'd love to help.

• Check out my recent ??"What Am I Even Good At?!" 5-Day Challenge?? to figure out what you're good at and actually enjoy doing. Reclaim your value and confidence and watch your job search move at a speed you never thought possible.

• Or grab some time on my calendar for a free 45-Minute Career Strategy Session. Let’s talk it out and get you moving forward. Zero pressure. Zero obligation.

Erin???

As a Career Coach & Owner of Allett Career Coaching, I help High-Performers get out of the wrong job and into a career they're excited about...without starting over. Let's connect!

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P.S. High-performers are somewhat notorious for struggling with how to ask for help. Check out this article “How Top Performers Ask for Help” from Happen To Your Career for an awesome framework of how to actually ask for the help you need.