A career or a calling?

I remember living in LA. I’d wake up, walk down the stairs, look out the window ahead onto the park and ocean and think, “something’s missing. I’m not on the right path.”

I felt like the world was going on without me. With all the hard work and time I’d invested in my career – and some wonderful successes very early on – I wondered if I should be in a difference place, both personally and professionally.

To the outside world, I looked like a success. But inside I knew I was making the deadly mistake of ‘going it alone’ professionally – a topic that later became the subject of my second book.

For example, I started ventures without really building a team first — a foundation to support it — leaving me to do all the work, from grunt level to CEO. But I discovered (in my research for The Millionaire Zone) that successful people didn’t in fact go it alone — whether it was Bill Gates (and Paul Allen) or Oprah (and Gayle King).

Perhaps this ‘go it alone’ mentality stemmed from my upbringing, not having parents equipped to support and guide me in this ever-changing world.

Where was this all leading?

Today, and over recent years, I hear so many stories:

“They had the biggest bloodshed in December at (former employer) so I’m looking for my next gig.”

“I’m an empty nester now. We’ll see what’s next.”

“The CEO is terrible. I want to find a place with purpose.”

“You must love what you’re doing. I wish I was leading something like Girls With Impact.”

So often we’re looking outside, beyond ourselves, for the answer to our future. We compare ourselves to others. We wonder why we aren’t making more money, why we aren’t happy, why we don’t have impact in our job.

Even T.S. Eliot found himself working at a bank (and not some small bank out in the boonies, but Lloyd’s of London) while becoming famous on the side. He never gave up his passion, his purpose.

Everyone has a unique gift. The key is to recognize what it is and find its meaning.

A few steps you can take:

1.    Look internally. Turn off the noise of others around you. Take time to pause and reflect. Long walks are when I have some of my best ah-has.

I can recall many times my inner-self telling me I wasn’t on the right path. But I wouldn’t listen. Instead I kept plugging away, working all hours of the day and night and weekend to try to get ahead.

But drive is only as productive as the gear you’re operating in. If fear of change is what’s motivating you, check the transmission. You may be stuck in neutral, or worse: going in reverse. Moving outside your comfort zone is essential. Ask any successful person if they got where they are today by spinning their wheels.

2.    Examine your beads of pearls. If you were to look back on your career, does it seem natural that you are where you’ve landed? Do your experiences build off one another?

When wondering what your next move is, look back at those pearls. Reflect on all the beads of experiences, one coming after the other.

Where do they bring you now? With all that is going on in the world, what unique skills and passions can you contribute? What makes you you?

3.    Find your passion and turn it into purpose. This doesn’t have to be in your day job. Like T.S. Eliot, supplement your work life with a hobby.

Have a talent for music? Maybe spend weekends playing in a band. A successful CEO I know does just that and it not only serves as a much-needed stress release but a way to cultivate new friendships and relationships.

4.    Surround yourself with inspiring people. One of the biggest determiners of work happiness is sharing with coworkers and friends a similar desire to have a particular impact or focus. I talk to countless executives who share that. Take the time to engage, to lean into the conversation, and explore.

5.    Raise your standards. If you’re looking for a job, don’t fall into the trap of letting others define you as being “out of work.” Rather than feeling like a dog with your tail between your legs, turn the situation around.

Be clear in your purpose and in your standards. Know what you want and say it with conviction. It may take time, but you’re likely to increase the odds of landing something that’s more fulfilling and taps into all of your skills and strengths.

Remember, you weren’t born with a resume. Nor do you want to go out with one.

If you’re not doing it already, start examining how you can tap into your true calling. It will pay enormous dividends for your happiness in your current life and career and, more to the point, what’s still to come.