The Career Ball is In Your Court
"The career ball is in your court." - Sam Horn
I was speaking for a Silicon Valley company and interviewed several executives to get their input on what I could focus on to make our workshop maximally useful. One shared a story about how, in his opinion, some women in the workplace don't help themselves when it comes to career advancement.
I asked, “What do you mean?”
He said, “Last year, we opened an office in Paris. A manager in my department had lived in France as a foreign exchange student, speaks fluent French and is still in touch with her host family. I thought she'd make an excellent addition to our team in France so I recommended her when we discussed possible staff selections.
The other executives at the table just looked at me with puzzled expressions. No one knew who I was talking about. I went to bat for her and tried to explain why I thought she could help us ramp up this new location.
One of my colleagues finally recognized her name. He said, “Okay, I know who you’re talking about now. She sits in on some of my meetings. But she never says anything.’
She ended up NOT getting that position, and it wasn’t because she didn’t deserve it or wouldn’t have done a good job. It was because those decision-makers hadn’t personally witnessed her adding value and wouldn't take a risk on someone they didn’t know.”
I asked, “Did you talk to her about this missed opportunity?”
“I did. When I asked why she doesn't speak up in meetings, she said, ‘I tried to, but everyone just talked over me. I suggested a way to streamline one of our systems, but no one listened. In fact, a few minutes later one of the men said pretty much the same thing and everyone went, ‘Great idea!’ I finally just gave up.’
I told her, ‘Don’t you realize, if you don’t say anything at meetings, the people in the room conclude you don’t have anything to contribute?"
I shared this example during my workshop and suggested specific ways we can take responsibility for our contribution and reputation so decision-makers witness us adding value and have first-hand evidence of our leadership in action.
6 Tips for Getting Heard, Seen and Respected So People Experience Your Leadership
1. Contribute at least one ACTION-oriented suggestion at every meeting. Not an opinion, an action. Instead of simply sharing what you think or feel, contribute specific pragmatic options of what can be done to move a project forward, turn an idea into reality, or achieve a company objective.
2. Don't point out what’s wrong unless you follow up with how this can be done right. In other words, become known as a problem solver, not a problem reporter. John F. Kennedy said, "Our task is not to fix the blame for the past. It's to fix the course for the future." Get known as someone who finds solutions, not fault.
3. Instead of deferring compliments, graciously honor them. If someone praises you, instead of saying, “It was nothing.” or “My team deserves the credit.” say “Thank you. Your feedback means a lot.” Then, add a detail, e.g., “Our goal was to exceed our sales quota this quarter, so we identified three high-profile clients, reached out and were able to turn them into new accounts.” Then, talk about an upcoming initiative so executives are aware of how you plan to continue to produce results.
4. Keep it brief. Richard Branson said, “Time is the new money.” As a communication coach, I say "Time is the new TRUST." Keep your remarks purposeful, to the point, and two minutes or less. People will always listen to what you say if you’ve proven you can be trusted to cut to the chase and be a good use of their time and attention.
5. If someone interrupts, speak up instead of letting them talk over you. Jack Canfield says, "People treat us the way we teach them to treat us." Look at the interrupter, use his or her name, and say, “Mark, let me finish” or “Bev, one more minute and then it’s your turn.” Then, conclude your remarks. You’re not being rude, just clear and confident that you as much right to speak as anyone else.
6. Tower, don't cower. If you tuck your head or use a tentative, high-pitched voice, people will doubt your clout. Instead of slouching, roll your shoulders up and back and sit up or stand up. Speak with a voice of authority by ending sentences with downward (not upward) inflection and project so every single person can hear every single word. And be sure to have your computer camera slightly ABOVE eye level, so you are looking up to people in Zoo meetings vs. looking down at them (which comes across as patronizing or condescending).
A program participant chased me down in the parking lot after that Silicon Valley workshop and said, “Sam, I wasn’t getting credit for all my overtime and hard work and I was resentful. I realize I can’t blame my boss for not giving me the recognition if I’m not giving him evidence of all the ways I’m making a difference for our clients and company.”
Her feedback reinforced the premise of my "Get Seen, Heard, Respected" program. It's idealistic to expect C-suite executives to know all the ways we’re contributing and to initiate on behalf of our career goals. They’ve got at lot on their plate. We're just one of their many priorities.
It’s up to us to give our decision-makers real-world evidence of our leadership in action. Only when they witness us adding value will they be able to trust we're contributing bottom-line value because they’ve personally experienced us doing just that. Only then will be receive the projects, promotions and pay raises we want, need and deserve.
The career ball is in your court. How will you use these tips to get seen, heard and respected at work, at home, online and in public?
- - -
Sam Horn is the CEO of the Intrigue Agency. Her 3 TEDx talks and 9 books have been featured in NY Times, on NPR and presented to ASAE, Intel, Cisco, YPO, Fidelity, YPO, Capital One. Want Sam to speak at your event? Contact [email protected]