CAREER ADVICE: CELEBRATING THE WISDOM OF SHIRLEY FRANCES OXLEY

“An approximate answer to the right question is worth  a great deal more than a precise answer to the wrong question.” John Turkey 

Some time ago, I wrote a post inspired by my father, Terence Reginald Oxley. It was fathers’ day in 2016 and I was reflecting on how my dad instilled a deeply pragmatic outlook in me. I tried to make the point that large organisations sometimes confuse when excellence should be demanded versus when a more practical approach would suffice. My father read the blog and told me how much he enjoyed it. 

I intended soon after to write a sister blog reflecting on how my mother’s advice had also influenced me. However, what do they say about intentions? Other ideas ended up jumping to the front of my mind and 19 blogs later here we are. Sadly, my mother passed away in November. Now that the rawness of the loss has subsided a little, I wanted to return to my tardy intention and write a post inspired by my mother. 

HOW DO CAREERS HAPPEN?

Occasionally, people ask me whether I have any advice on building a career. There is something in our corporate lives that promotes the notion that anyone who has survived in business and achieved a modicum of influence must have a secret formula. I believe the expectation is the answer will reveal a somewhat linear path, like stepping stones, which will lead to a prescribed outcome….. how can I become a CHRO, SVP, CEO, COO, CFO, etc.? I struggle with this. This is not in my view how the corporate world, careers, or indeed life more generally, happens. They simply don’t follow a linear structure. They are too complex to be constrained or reduced to a simple “Do this job and then this next one, and after 5 steps you will have achieved your dream.” 

FIGURE 1- COMPLEXITY VERSUS COMPLICATED

A more accurate explanation of how careers ‘happen’ is complex rather than complicated. This amplifies my belief that careers have a multitude of uncontrollable factors that combine to present (or deny) an individual opportunities. If you’re interested in reading more about complex versus complicated challenges you can read General McChrystal’s book. He provides a succinct explanation of how many contemporary challenges are made fiendishly difficult to predict because they have a near infinite number of variables. I see careers in a similar vein. If a butterfly flaps its wings in the Amazon, then a happenstance meeting may lead to an accountant sitting next to an investment banker on a plane journey that leads to a chance meeting over drinks with a venture capitalist who needs a partner… you get my drift. 

So, in this context, how do you answer a posed question about achieving a specific career destination? This is where I hear my mother’s advice loud and clear. You don’t…. it’s the wrong question…

PARALYSIS OF COMPLEXITY

When I was finishing high school in the UK, I remember distinctly being paralysed by indecision, doubt, and confusion. I was trying to answer a big question…What did I want to do with my life? This seemed at the time to be indistinguishable from the next question… What profession did I envisage? A large part of me felt the answer had to be big…ambitious….bold. Another thought was that any job might be ok but for some reason might disappoint my friends and family. Peer pressure takes many forms and one of them was a sense that people would judge my choice and categorise me as a failure, lazy, or an under-achiever. This mattered to me at the time. The final part of me, the part scared of rejection or failure,  looked at my narrow South-East London surroundings and thought with over 10% unemployment at the time, whether there was much point even trying? 

I think looking back I intuitively felt the complexity of a path from school to a 30-year plus professional career. It seemed an impossible leap, one I couldn’t imagine.  I knew the words Architect, Accountant, Banker, Management Consultant. I understood at a basic level that these were respected professions. I knew a few people in these professions. But beyond the positive response I would get if I offered one of those words to my relatives when they asked me what I was planning to do after school, I was clueless on how to become one. 

The only other path I could imagine was small business owner. My reference here was my soon to be father-in-law who ran a chain of grocery stores. His extraordinary and admirable efforts to make a living from incredibly thin margins and somewhat dishonest suppliers and advisors struck me as something to avoid, not emulate. 

SHIRLEY’S WISDOM

This is where my mother delivered one of her most impactful lessons. I have a vivid memory of her in our old kitchen in Ennersdale Road. Here is a rough approximation of our conversation:

Mum: Have you done anything on the job front this week?

Me: No. I don’t know what to do. I’m also not sure what I want to do. I don’t know what I’ll be good at. Or whether anyone would even be interested in taking me on. 

Mum: I don’t think you have to answer those questions today. The only question you really have to answer is what you’re going to do tomorrow. 

Me: That doesn’t sound right. Shouldn’t I be plotting a course to a respectable profession?

Mum: There are a million roads to a successful career but I guarantee you that not a single one of them started without taking a really small first step. 

Perhaps alongside her encouragement to take some risks with my career, this exchange we had, with the radio playing in the background (BBC Radio 2 was always playing in the background), on what was a warm, May evening in 1981, has stayed with me. At the time, I simply saw it as my Mum nudging me toward a job. However, now I give her far more credit. Her advice has great wisdom.

ANSWER THE QUESTION YOU MUST NOT THE ONE YOU THINK YOU SHOULD

At the heart of my Mum’s advice was something that holds true possibly even more today than it did nearly 40 years ago. Sometimes we confuse questions and choices. We get mixed up between aspirations and immediate actions. 

In my view, the days of ‘complicated’ careers are increasingly over. The world is more inter-connected. There are too many disruptive forces. In Figure 2, I show some careers that you might argue remain complicated. In these cases, perhaps it remains possible to use a reductionist approach to ‘plotting’ a path to your desired outcome. 

FIGURE 2- COMPLICATED CAREERS

However, in my view (and definitely in my experience), careers are increasingly complex. It is difficult to plan them. Consequently, rather than use a reductionist approach, it is better to think more simply about the choices that you must make. In Figure 3, I show what I might describe as my own career path.

FIGURE 3– IN COMPLEX CAREERS OPTIONS APPEAR ONLY AFTER YOUR NEXT DECISION

What I’m trying to show in Figure 3, is the idea that careers can be dynamic with people being rewarded for taking a small next step with the sudden revelation of unexpected new paths. Rather than plot a longer term course, in this construct I am advocating making the best decision based on what you know today. In my case, this has led consistently to entirely unexpected new opportunities that I had no knowledge or expectation of prior to walking through the door. In some ways, I think this is a Johari’s Window construct for careers.

HOW DO YOU OPTIMISE COMPLEX CAREERS

So, if I return to the question of how I respond to the periodic question of how to manage a career… my advice is, unless you have a very strong motivation to pursue one of those professions that are still defined by long apprenticeships and are resilient to the waves of technological disruption, don’t! Instead, focus on two things:

1 – Think deeply about what the choices are in front of you today. Staying where you are versus making a change based on what is real and achievable. Decide what your risk profile is and what will be most fulfilling for you. Then commit to it!

2 – Continually develop yourself. Here I mean in a complete sense rather than just education. I have really enjoyed my academic journey and it has given me access to opportunities I would not otherwise have had. However, my emotional journey has also been important. I started as a raw ambitious, somewhat materially focussed consultant. I have benefited greatly from learning the world and people have many more fulfilling and important dimensions than just promotions, grades, and salaries. 

It is probably more accurate in my view to say to succeed in a world of complexity, you are better to manage your own development than attempt to plot a career plan beyond the next 2-5 years.

Perhaps we can close with a final world from my mother…. David, eat your vegetables and you can leave the table.

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