Care about what others feel and you will be a prisoner all your life!

Yes indeed, there are very few of us who manage not to step on other people's tails. We all do it. Getting through a human life without bumps and emotional bruises is simply impossible. We just will get hurt. It is our birthright to get our hearts squashed, unfortunately! However, emotions are not the end all and be all of the universe. In fact, they are a minuscule part of it and also, it becomes the only a part of our human experience.

Whenever we all too often consider emotions to be much more important than they really are. Do any amount of meditation and you will see emotions arise and fall away without any real provocation. Emotions and moods can just be without anyone doing anything. Like the weather, they come and go. When I care about others it means I am considering where they are at in their own unique evolutionary process, what a situation calls for, the context we are in together, and how I can support that person given all of that information.

Talking about caring about others, to me, involves a few other ingredients that go well beyond making others feel good. While ego-stroking may win you some fans, actually caring about others involves a whole lot more thought.

Rather than just caring about emotions, I care about openness with others which includes a wide range of feelings and thoughts. That entails an ability to be in the present moment, to love and appreciate others for who they are and to accept them while not condoning abusive, manipulative, often morbid, or negative behaviour from them.

Good judgement is also important in caring for others. If I feel like my help and support is futile, I will pull back into silence and allow others space. This is different from giving the cold shoulder. And, if I feel that it is the right moment to hold a hand, or swoop in and buy someone dinner who doesn't have any money, I will do that and whatever the situation calls for and whatever makes the most sense, I will try to follow these however it is not so easy as well.

But my observation has been that the vast majority of people in my own circles generally do not do well at all when they think no one believes in them. This applies to life, love, career, addiction, and many other categories of experience. Additionally, there is a bunch of research that indicates that destructive criticism and personal-focused criticism which I would argue is what us a "cold shoulder" affects performance in sport, academics and career negatively. It has been also seen in the majority of the cases that such attitudes often makes us uncomfortable. Have you tried inviting such people home and felt like asking for trouble?

If this kind of feeling persists, because they often over-indulge and drive home angry? Let them go to hell kind of a thing. Your tough attitude example is the way to go. If the choice to not invite them is because one other person in the invite list has an attitude problem about them? Not up to the invitee to play politics to invite them both if you want 'em there. If the choice to not invite them is because the invitee doesn't want them there? I would suggest the invitee analyses their reasons for continuing to be social with that person, since that is more or less back handed, but the invitee has the right to stick to their guns and take a call.

It is said often that emotions do not have an 'on-off switch', that's why we are humans and not robots. you do not get to decide about whose emotions you will care and whose emotions you would neglect. if you do not care about anyone's emotions, it simply means they are not a priority to you, you do not feel for them. why don't you try one thing, try not to care about the emotions of your parents, a dear friend, i am sure you will have your answer. if you forcibly neglect someone you do not want to, you still would care about their emotions but in the form of regret later. Stay blessed! #kishoreshintre