Is the car ok? Sure, dad, and I'm fine, too.

Or... Another VW Bug Incident

In a blizzard on my way home between semesters of my freshman year of college, my gold VW bug turned a 360 and ended up in a ditch near an on-ramp of the highway in the middle of nowhere.

It was 25 degrees and I was in jeans, a t-shirt and a sweatshirt. I'm not sure I was wearing socks with my tennis shoes. My car had a good heating system and generally did great in ice and snow; I wasn't prepared to be stuck. Someone had tested his brand-new four wheel drive Blazer in front of me by coming to a complete stop under the overpass. I took my foot off the gas and my car didn't slow down at all. As I gently pressed my brake pedal, the car did it's turn. There I was on the side of the road with a flat right front tire because it hit the ditch so hard.

A police officer happened to see the incident, thank goodness, and I gratefully accepted a ride to the next gas station to call for help. He wasn't nice to me; there was no kindness in his voice when he told he wouldn't give me a ticket for driving too fast in those conditions. But he did give me a ride.

My first call from the pay phone (this was before cell phones) was to my dad. *Sniff* *sniff*, tears rolling, snot running, the full emotional response of a 19 year old to the situation. "Dad. I had an accident. I'm stuck at the Longmont/Lyons exit of I25 at the Texaco. *Sniff*."

How's the car?

I have to ask all of you dads out there: Is that the first thing you all ask when you hear about an accident? Most of my friends have told me over the years their dad had the same initial question. Not "are you ok?"

I told him the car was mostly fine, just a flat tire from the impact of sliding off the road into a ditch. His next words sounded angry:

Well?! What do you want me to do about it?! You're almost two hours drive and a mountain pass away from me? Call AAA!

I stopped crying immediately. Reality struck like a slap across my very cold, wet, snotty nosed face. I hung up, grabbed my AAA membership card from my bag, and called the emergency number. The first question from the agent hundreds of miles away from me? A total stranger said:

Are you ok? You sound upset. It'll all be ok, honey, don't worry.

She assured me a tow truck would come pick me up, take me to my car, change my tire and pull me back out to the road - or tow me and the car to a safe place. It would be a while because they were quite busy with the storm, but she'd make sure I was safe. Before she hung up she asked if I was in a safe place, if I was warm enough to wait for the truck. She told me to call the police if I felt threatened or unsafe in any way. When the tow truck arrived to take me to my car, the driver said: "I have to check in with dispatch... Mary? Yes, she's with me now and she's doing just fine."

It was many years later that I realized what happened that day, the difference between the response of the stranger and my dad's response. My dad was really worried about his little girl. The way he covered up his fear was with anger & frustration. He knew he could do nothing to help me. He was helpless to rescue me. That is one of the most awful feelings a parent can experience. How did I learn to understand his response to what happened that day? With my own children, of course.

Lesson 1: If you are a police officer and you witness something like this, be kind. No one was hurt, my lesson was learned, and I was scared. A little compassion teaches a better lesson than a citation. Maybe a hug wouldn't have been appropriate, but a smile would have gone a long way. Here I am, many years later and I remember his cold response. Maybe it was for the same reason my dad was angry - he knew what could have been and it scared him. Teach - don't preach.

Lesson 2: Don't call your dad first if you have a car service like AAA. I know that sounds silly, but it's true. He couldn't help me from two hours away. My dad taught me a lot of things; the most important lesson was to know my resources. Thanks to my dad, I am a problem solver. Know who can help you, and what you need to do to get help. Be prepared to enlist the help of strangers if necessary.

Lesson 3: The AAA agent was perfect. She couldn't have provided better customer service. Again, many years later I'm still raving about the service she provided. When you get that call, remember the human on the other end of the phone and be prepared to care about him/her. Again, compassion goes a long way toward fixing a problem.

Want to learn more or get a refresher about how to provide improved customer experience? Connect with me through LinkedIn to schedule a workshop or to have me speak at your next conference!

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Here's a little information about me:

My expertise in training and facilitating in the customer service environment comes from a variety of experiences in everything service-related, from serving cocktails to financial & project reporting on government grants, from suggesting reading material for a patron at the library to helping a bride plan her wedding. It's all about observation and my motivation to satisfy needs of those around me, sometimes needs they don't realize they have. If you really want to improve your customer's experience, I can help.

I believe in being human in all our faults and beauty in every environment. If you think you can separate your personal and professional brands, you're delusional. I share my thoughts on this via Twitter sometimes, @sarahelkins.