The Car Crash Effect

Yesterday morning was a morning like any other. I got up, walked the dog, got ready for work and started my usual 10 minute drive….. only yesterday, was the day I will remember as the day that helped me realise (remember) who I am.

I can’t say I had imagined myself losing control of my brand new car, heading off the road, down into a ditch, hitting a tree, flipping the car and landing back on the road on the roof! I didn’t really think I’d be fighting with my driver’s door to get out of a wreck that I wasn’t sure was on fire or whether it was the smoke, smell and taste of the airbags that had just hit me with as much force as Mike Tyson!

But there I was sitting on the road, no-one else around, not sure if I was awake or dreaming.

Before thinking about anything else, the first thing I did was call my partner. Not because I wanted her to know, but because I needed to hear her voice. I needed her reassurance that everything would be okay. I don't even remember what I said now....

After a while a couple of cars came from different directions, the drivers stopped and assisted me. A little while later the Ambulance came, the fire engine and the police and I was whisked away to hospital. Amazingly, apart from a few bumps and cuts, I was okay! My neighbour (who was an absolute hero yesterday, coming to the scene and comforting me, taking my stuff, talking with the police and keeping my partner informed) collected me from the hospital and brought me home.

As I walked through the door, I saw my daughter and my partner, I rushed in, grabbed my partner tight and I cried. I cried and cried and cried. It wasn’t because I was upset. It wasn’t because I was hurting. It was because I realised how lucky I am to be alive and still have them in my life.

And, there started my soul searching and thoughts which have helped me clear my mind and I’m going to share now, some things that are important to me, that I had forgotten up until yesterday.

1.      Family: Family comes first. Family will always be there, work and business may not. Success will come but, always prioritise your family life over business life. My biggest driver and my single most effective motivator is my partner who recently told me ‘I’m so proud of you’ Feedback doesn’t come any better than that

2.      Life; Life is for living. Do not live to work, work to live. Work is a means by which you can enhance your life. We create life, we should enjoy it too! I’ve put too much focus on my work in the past, I want to enjoy myself now and I intend to.

3.      Health; Health is important, if you’re ill, take the day off. Work should not be a cause of poor health, if it is, change it! Recently, for the first time in 10 years, I actually took a day off sick when feeling ill. Guess what? Everything continued as expected, the world does not stop if you are ill for one day.

4.      Friends; Choose your friends wisely; there are those that will stand by your side no matter what. There are others who come in to your life only when they need something, those are not friends. I’ve helped many people find jobs, introduced them to decision makers and I get nothing in return, it doesn’t matter, I shouldn’t expect it, the only person who will make me successful is myself.

5.      Listen; Listen to what you’re being told, think about what you’ve been told, take time to clarify your understanding, and then respond appropriately. I forgot about reading between the lines and really taking a full account of things into perspective, which caused friction and issues in the workplace, I’ve learnt my lesson. Listen, assimilate and respond appropriately regardless of emotion or feeling

6.      Learn; You don’t know it all and you never will, learn at every opportunity from those with more experience than yourself. Learn also from those perhaps with less experience but who have new and different ideas, I’ve been surprised at the benefits of doing so, both in terms of growth of the individual and myself

7.      Seize the opportunities; Be brave, take risks, go get it tiger, you can do it, if opportunity comes your way, grab it with both hands and don’t let go. I’ve done it, twice, and whilst I’m still a work in progress you know what, it is actually the happiest I’ve been in a long time in my working career, I also remembered…..

8.      It’s OK to fail:  I’ve failed before, a number of times, but I keep trying and I keep pushing myself, because I am destined for success. I know this and I will keep chasing my dream, even if I don’t really know where that dream ends as I only have a part 1 so far…. ‘If at first you don’t succeed, then try, try, try again’.

9.      Stay True to Yourself: In any given situation, environment, culture, try to stand up and admit your mistakes, don‘t blame everyone else, be open to learning more, stop complaining about everything, make change happen because no one will change it for you, offer to help, take responsibility, work together and put aside the politics and internal competitiveness

Some of you might relate to some of the points above, some of you might think this post doesn’t belong on LinkedIn and are thinking what a load of crap, I don’t care, I felt it was worth sharing and that’s all that matters.

Enjoy your day folks!

Paul