Capture those golden moments
Gina Balarin (CPM FAMI FCIM)
The CEO’s Voice - lifting leaders on the screen, stage and page | Ghostwriter | Public speaking coach | TEDx speaker | Author | Board member
This will be the last year of my father's life. And I'm (finally) okay with that. I haven't been able to see him (except via Zoom) to say goodbye. And I'm (finally) okay with that.
But part of the reason why I'm okay with that is because we get each other. He's okay with me not being there because he loves me unconditionally. And the feeling is mutual.
Seeing my beloved Daddy fade away has been hard, even though I don't even see him every day, because he's the kind of man who oozes energy from every pore. He loves life. And people. And dogs. And sidecars. And artichokes.
Bit by bit, he has lost the passion for each of these things. He can't rush up and down the garden fixing things anymore, because he can barely walk. He's not drinking pink milk with 8 spoons of strawberry Nesquik anymore because he doesn't feel like drinking anything these days. He has long since stopped eating artichokes because his teeth have fallen out.
But he's still a livewire with a wicked sense of humour.
That might not last long, either, because every day is borrowed time.
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But in the midst of his decline I have been writing poetry to help me process our inevitable parting. And inspired by Kerryn Vaughan 's article "That's goin' straight to the pool room " (or up on the brag wall - whatever you choose to call it), I wanted to share the golden moments that bring back such great memories and much love, of my beloved father.
Kerryn reminded me while we, as a species, have tended to hoard accolades (my term, not hers), we should also allow ourselves to hoard moments.
She says, "I’ve decided to create a ‘pool room moments’ journal, and to start adding to it every time something happens that money just can’t buy".
I do this with poetry. And photos. And videos sent to my parents, so far away, for as long as they are able to enjoy them.
How are you going to capture those golden moments before it's too late?
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2 年Gina, your article and poem really spoke to me. Thank you for sharing. My mother passed away 6 years ago - sudden and unexpected. Those final few weeks were so incredibly precious - we were close, she was my best friend and knew me better than anyone. Sharing memories, reading poetry together and thanking her for simple things like my name, I carry with me. Watching her decline was the hardest, especially when she lost the ability to speak. I still remember the last time she spoke ‘I love you’ as I was ending a visit - little did I know that these would be the last words she would be able to speak. We found other ways to communicate by touch - I would hold her hands, stroke her forehead - role reversal to when she cared for me as a child. And by looks - Mum’s eyes were the window to her soul and I learnt to decipher her feelings just by reading her look. So, capturing those golden moments, as you describe,is utterly priceless and s good reminder to us all. Thank you.
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2 年I love this Gina Balarin. Having lost my mother last year and having only my father left, I dread the day of his passing. We still make memories on the golf course and I love hearing his stories of how he beats his friends. I’ll continue to save the memories for as long as I can.
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2 年Thanks for sharing Gina Balarin. I love how you have captured this hard moment in time with such beautiful touching words.