We are "too busy" to see ourselves burning out!

Intro

In the relentless pursuit of success, we often find ourselves so consumed by our responsibilities that we can fail to recognise the toll it's taking on our wellbeing.

I am a leader, working parent, husband, son, high-performer, change maker, minority and people pleaser. I had worn my busyness on multiple fronts like a badge of strength and value, unwittingly at times sacrificing my physical and mental health in the name of productivity and duty to others. I know all too well that little by little, despite the accolades and wins, the stress accumulates, and before we know it, we're in a sleep deprived state of chronic physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion – that is burnout.

Let’s be honest, with companies demanding more with less and certain industries putting pressure on capable individuals to double or triple hat while they cut people elsewhere, there is almost an inevitability of burnout culture in certain contexts and especially for those operating in high-pressure environments.

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What I’ve learned so far.

Traditional wisdom often portrays stress, anxiety and burnout as negative experiences to be avoided at all costs. However in my humble opinion, most people are simply doing the best they can while balancing differing pressures professionally and personally. So we should view stress, anxiety and burnout as our human signals to take action so that we can continue to thrive rather than just survive. ?

As I covered in my recent article on career breaks , realising what the hidden costs are of the work vs salary trade is critical in order to prioritise and choose what matters before you risk your health or relationships.

I have been in situations where I was given more and more responsibilities just because I was capable or there were cost cuts. Out of sense of loyalty and responsibility to those around me I did it willingly, but I should have - could have set better boundaries.

The hidden cost to me for years was my sleep, feeling mentally loaded 24/7 and my health. ?Take for example when I was commuting weekly across the Atlantic for the best part of five months and working two jobs in two time zones. I was so run down that my immune system was shot and I got shingles while relocating the whole family from London to New York. It was no coincidence I hit the scales in NYC at well over 115kg which is nearly 30kg heavier than I am now.

Taking action for me was key when I felt my triggers. I removed myself from the root causes of the chronic stress and dealt with my physical and mental state through acts of self-care, cold showers, exercise, vitamins, talking/laughing with friends and ensuring I was spending as much time on my passions as I could.

Just to be clear, I have no regrets, I made my choices and I was very grateful to be able to have the opportunities I’ve had in my career, however armed with experience I now have improved clarity on what my non-negotiables are for sustainable high performance for the next 25 years. I’m much happier and healthier when I prioritise self-care, working with higher purpose, learning, better habits, and prioritising people and activities that energise me vs drain me.

How many would actually step off the burnout treadmill willingly? I think it’s up to you good people around them to hit the wake up alarm!

By reframing our understanding of stress, anxiety and burnout we can take a step back, reflect and adjust before it’s too late.

What stress?

Not all stress is inherently bad. In fact, some level of stress can be beneficial and motivating. It's important to distinguish between good stress and bad stress and when acute stress turns to chronic stress. It manifests differently for different people, typically with physical and emotional symptoms, so it’s important to understand your own trigger points.

Good stress (Eustress)

• Motivates us to perform well and meet challenges
• Is short-term and infrequent
• Examples: A job interview, sports competition, public speaking

Bad stress (Distress)

• Causes anxiety, negativity, and physical symptoms
• Can be acute episodic or chronic in nature
• Examples: Work overload, family conflicts, financial worries

Acute stress

• A short-term response to a specific trigger, threat or situation
• There’s a release of the stress hormones Cortisol and adrenaline
• Fight, Flight or Freeze
• Example: your Child during exam weeks

Chronic stress

• Persistent stress over an extended period, often from multiple sources
• Physical and mental strain and tension is built up
• Continued amount of cortisol in the body (i.e. constantly in fight mode)
• Low mood, panic, worries
• Example: working in a toxic environment, dealing with family and work issues

Burnout

• The World Health Organization officially recognizes burnout as an "occupational phenomenon" resulting from chronic workplace stress
• A state of chronic physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion
• Characterized by feelings of cynicism, detachment, lack of accomplishment

But I’m ok! It will never happen to me.

Being able to spot the signs of unhealthy stress in yourself and others is crucial.

I just need a holiday and I’ll be fine!

While rest and time off can provide temporary relief, burnout often requires more significant lifestyle changes and interventions to address the underlying causes. Here are some key ways burnout and needing a holiday differs:

1. Prolonged and persistent: Burnout is a chronic state of depletion that persists over a period, often months or years, rather than just feeling temporarily exhausted??
2. Emotional exhaustion: Burnout involves a deep emotional exhaustion, often leading to feelings of detachment, hopelessness, and a loss of motivation
3. Decreased performance: Burnout significantly impacts an individual's ability to perform and function effectively, both at work and in personal life, leading to a reduced sense of accomplishment
4. Physical symptoms: burnout can manifest physically through symptoms like headaches, insomnia, gut issues, and weakened immunity
5. Recovery complexity: While holidays can provide temporary relief, recovering from burnout often requires more significant lifestyle changes and addressing the root causes of chronic stress

Yes when you unplug figuratively it’s great for a rest and reset, however to stave off burnout you need to recharge your batteries and fill your time with things that energise you vs drain you. Choose wisely and fill your cup!

Seriously, why is there no “Help Others” section in bookshops?

In addition to practicing Self-Help strategies, you can support loved ones or colleagues struggling with stress/burnout.?

Shout out to other parents supporting kids during this stress fueled exam time!

1. Check in regularly and hold space to listen without judgment
2. Encourage them to take breaks and set boundaries
3. Ask if they’d welcome practical help with their tasks or responsibilities
4. Remind them of counselling/mental health resources available
5. Suggest enjoyable activities to relieve stress together
6. Be patient and avoid criticism of their situation
7. Leaders be mindful of when your best talent start to make small mistakes, or go quiet. (Tip: Ask better questions and you might get different answers)
8. Leaders it’s also your responsibility to create a psychologically safe environment for your people. Own that
9. And if you too have a teenager in the house... Breathe, moonwalk out of the room when required and remember it’s not about you!

By being aware of stress types, symptoms and how we can best support each other, we can create a better environment that fosters more care and community to tackle life's challenges.

Critical to also be aware that mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, and PTSD can be exacerbated by stress and burnout. Encourage those needing it to seek professional help, be it a doctor or therapist when needed.

Let’s get to the root of the problem.

The biggest drivers of stress and burnout can vary depending on individual circumstances, but some common factors to be aware of include.

Workplace factors:

• Excessive workload and long hours
• Lack of control or autonomy over workload
• Poor work-life balance
• Toxic work environments or office politics
• Job insecurity or lack of job satisfaction

Financial pressures:

• Mounting debts or financial obligations
• Concerns about job security or income instability
• Cost of living pressures or economic uncertainties

Personal and family responsibilities:

• Caring for children, elderly parents, or other dependents
• Juggling multiple roles (work, parenting, care giving)
• Relationship or marital conflicts
• Major life events or transitions (e.g., divorce, moving, loss of a loved one)

Health issues:

• Chronic illnesses or health conditions
• Lack of self-care or unhealthy lifestyle habits
• Lack of sleep
• Mental health struggles (e.g., depression, anxiety

School / University factors:

• Academic pressures (exams, competition)
• Social dynamics (friendships, peer pressure, bullying)
• Time management (juggling classes, extracurricular, social life)

External factors:

• Global crises or societal issues (e.g., pandemics, recessions, political unrest)
• Commuting or living in high-stress environments
• Exposure to traumatic events or violence

Personality and coping mechanisms:

• Perfectionist tendencies or unrealistic expectations
• Negative thought patterns or pessimistic mindset
• Poor stress management or coping skills
• Lack of social support or isolation

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It's important to note that these drivers often interact and compound each other, creating a vicious cycle of stress and burnout. Addressing the root causes and developing healthy coping mechanisms is crucial for preventing and overcoming burnout.? There’s always a choice, and sometimes you do unfortunately have to walk away from what doesn’t lift you up.

The struggle is real but there is light!

Here are some famous examples which demonstrate that even those at the pinnacle of success can experience burnout and stress. Through addressing these challenges, they were able to make positive changes, prioritise their wellbeing, and ultimately achieve even greater personal and professional success.

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Reframing burnout

In the darker times, you have a choice to stick with the physical response of freeze, fight, flight or you take action. ?I’ve learned it’s always the small things that matter, and in this case - small actions to help yourself or help others can make all the difference!

For some, helping them understand that stress and burnout are sometimes hard to avoid, and knowing that there is no badge of honour waiting can be a start.

For some, knowing their triggers are the key to action.

On the other side, these tough experiences can build mental toughness, emotional intelligence, and a deeper understanding of your strengths and limitations.

There is never a one-size-fits-all solution, so while experiencing stress and burnout can be growth opportunities for some, they may also have more severe consequences for others, especially with pre-existing mental health conditions.

Either way, rather than normalising burnout as inevitable, we should normalise that there is no shame in asking for help. In fact as beautifully depicted in the children’s book by Charlie Mackesy “The boy, the mole, the fox and the horse” - Help, is one of the bravest things we can say.

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Ok the alarms are sounding ?- what now?

Here are seven strategies to help yourself or help others navigate this journey:

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1. Cultivate self-awareness: Develop the ability to recognise your triggers, the signs of burnout early, allowing you to take proactive steps to manage them
2. Set boundaries: Learn to say "no" to tasks or commitments that drain you and focus on what truly matters. Every time you say "Yes" to something, inevitably you’re saying "no" elsewhere in your life
3. Practice mindfulness: Techniques like meditation, deep breathing, and mindfulness can help. I can highly recommend cold showers too!
4. Prioritise self-care: Recharge your physical and mental wellbeing through activities such as exercise, hobbies, and quality time with loved ones
5. Declutter and embrace simplicity: Re-evaluate your priorities and let go of unnecessary commitments or clutter that add to your stress levels
6. Seek support: Build a strong support system of friends, family, colleagues, or coaches who can offer guidance and encouragement. Check in regularly with loved ones and listen without judgment
7. Find purpose: Connect with a deeper sense of meaning and purpose in your work and life, which can provide the right motivation and joy

In the end…

By re-framing our understanding of stress and burnout, we can use them to emerge stronger, wiser, and more resilient. Embrace the journey you’re on, prioritise self-care, support those around you, and view these experiences not as obstacles to be avoided or events to be ashamed of but as life bricks of experience sometimes needed to wake up and move toward a more fulfilling and meaningful life and career.

Embrace this opportunity to unlock your version of success and high-performance by approaching it with creativity, bold thinking, and courageous action. At the end of the day you have a choice about what future you want to create.

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To find out more, get in touch – https://conrad-da-cunha.com

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