Can’t We All Just Get Along?

I'm continuing this week, covering some of the lessons we've learned while reading the book How To Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie, here at Zenith. In part three of the book, there are twelve chapters devoted to winning people to your way of thinking. We all found this section fairly entertaining as we apply these lessons and ideas to current events. And I say entertaining because all of the advice in these chapters seems to be the complete opposite of the way most people communicate today. 

I'm going to list several of the principles in this section below to give you an idea of what I mean. 

Principle # 1 "The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it."  

Principle # 2 "Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, 'you're wrong."  

Principle # 3 "If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically." 

Principle # 4 "Begin in a friendly way." 

Principle # 6 "Let the other person do a great deal of the talking." 

Principle # 8 "Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view." 

These principles almost sound like a joke to me, given the way so many people communicate today. Avoiding arguments, showing respect for other people's opinions without telling him they are wrong, and to admit it when you are wrong? These ideas sound ludicrous. 

Go check out the average social media feed and see how often people don't begin in a friendly way. Catch your average cable news show and see if anyone is letting the other person do a great deal of talking. When was the last time you caught a politician trying to see things from their opponents' point of view, honestly? It never happens. 

And yet, as the book so aptly teaches, there is so much to be gained by applying these principles. If there is much to be gained, then why don't more people do it? That's a question somebody a lot smarter than me needs to answer. But as I've mentioned many times, writing this Friday Focus, standing guard at the door of your mind is the first step. What you expose yourself to online, on television, or radio impacts your communication and listening style. 

I can admit that I need to apply these principles in my personal life more often in how I communicate with my wife and my family. I'm not very good at admitting when I'm wrong. (Because it happens so rarely. Just kidding! See, I can't help myself.) 

So my biggest takeaway from this section of the book is that we could all make our lives a little bit easier by simply being kinder in the way we communicate and having empathy for other people's viewpoints.    

How much better are world be if we could all try that? 

Quote of the week: 

“By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.”  

Dale Carnegie