Can't stop loving you Dad
Personal photo Toronto, Alexander Muir Gardens.

Can't stop loving you Dad

I remember the way my Mum deceived me when she was going to leave me in Bulawayo. I knew we were going for a weekend. I took my clothes to her and she told me "Belinda, you pack your clothes yourself ok and put them in a suitcase". "Why?" I asked her. "No just do it, then we will all go". I trusted her and did as I was told. When we got there, I was shocked when she told me "You are staying here and we are going back." I cried and begged her not to leave me. I said I can do my secretarial course at home. She never said a word. Over the years I forgave her but she has not changed. She betrays me and hurts me. I am glad the sisters told me to cut ties with her. I brought her to Canada. Again she lied. She told me and everyone in KweKwe she would be coming to stay with me. When she got here even getting her to come for a weekend was hard. Why I always ask her. I want to do what I want to do, she said. Well I hope she is happy now because I have moved on and said my goodbyes. She still calls sometimes, I do not answer her calls. I accepted her decision to tell me to get on with my life. I am not a punching bag here to be abused and shouted at, screamed at and to have around only in good times. When the chips are down, when I need her she is not there for me. Even the lady I lived with told her, you do not have to go and spend all your time, one day you will miss her. To have a life that is unappreciated by your own mother and rejection by your own mother is the greatest pain. My faith keeps me strong. She tells me I did not do anything wrong. She got that right. It is sad what her and my sister did to me. I did not deserve it. Now she calls to take things out on me to hurt me. It is best not to answer the calls and to live my life with faith. She's still the same where did you go, what did you do. Yet when she went to Florida for three months and did not leave a forwarding address or contact information, I was expected to accept it. To accept her decision not to tell the truth and she would have let me go to jail. My consolation, is that I was loved once. I had someone who picked me up when I fell. Kissed my wounds bettter. Dressed me and helped me. He was my Dad. It was so long ago but the music healed a broken heart.


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