They Can't Help Me...or Can They?

When I was seeking a job over seven years ago, I found when I was meeting with professional groups, career center clients, etc., that I was surrounded by people who were just like me—they were unemployed. As obvious as this may sound, my next thought was that they couldn’t help me, or in some cases, they could actually be competing with me. What I found was the opposite—we were all in this together. The amount of anger, fear, apprehension, confusion, and many other feelings varied from individual to individual, but we found solace in our shared predicament. Our support groups sitting around talking about our problems made others in the group open up. As people opened up, others began to offer suggestions. “I know someone who used to work there,” or “Let me introduce you to someone I know who may be able to help you,” were common comments.

It became important in these group settings to clearly direct the dialog in a way that had each individual focusing on what they wanted and needed to move forward in their pursuit of a job, not just on the emotional rollercoaster ride we were all on. In some cases, we asked specifically if there was anyone in the room who had a contact or connections specific to what an individual member wanted or needed. Although it began slowly, that networking process became contagious as members realized we all had some loose connections and expertise that others could benefit from. I didn’t realize we were practicing a concept that Adam Grant discusses in his book Give and Take as a “Reciprocity Ring.” Becoming aware of that concept helped me to further and more explicitly drive the conversation down the path of action.

Note: for those wondering where to start to find professional groups and networking groups, there are many ways to begin your search. I suggest you start local. You can check with your local chamber of commerce, ask people during your individual networking sessions, look on social media sites (e.g., Facebook, LinkedIn), and check out career centers and libraries.