Can't Is A 4-Letter Word

Growing up in Peabody, MA, swearing was a serious offense in our household. My parents didn’t take it lightly, and if my brothers or I let slip a curse word, we risked a soap-dabbed tongue courtesy of my mom. But there was one word that upset her far more than any traditional swear:?“can’t.”

While uttering "can't" didn’t result in a mouth cleaning, it brought a much sterner reaction. To my mom, “can’t” was the worst word you could say. She didn’t just preach that—it was a belief she lived by every day.

My mom battled multiple sclerosis (MS) for much of her life. Despite the challenges, she never let them define her. One of her most inspiring endeavors was the creation of her "Can Do Friends." A natural entrepreneur and educator, she visited senior centers and kindergarten/1st grade classrooms, zipping around in her electric scooter with a hockey bag full of stuffed animals who had their own disabilities.

Jeffy the Blind Beaver (named after me), Marco the Hearing-Impaired Elephant, Kinda the Stuttering Gorilla, and others brought joy and lessons to her audiences. Through improvised stories, she showed how each of these fun-loving characters overcame life’s obstacles by finding unique ways to achieve their goals.

Today, I dedicate this post to my mom, whose unwavering perseverance continues to inspire me and, I hope, will motivate you too. Here are five ways?you can:

1. Believe in Yourself.?Though my mom faced struggles, she was endlessly optimistic. In her mind, there was nothing she couldn’t do. If you believe you can, you can.
2. Tune Out the Naysayers.?Doctors, family, and others often told her, “You can’t do that.” (That never went over well.) Call her stubborn; I’d call her driven.
3. Focus on the “Why,” Not the “How”.?Where most people dwell on?how?something can be done, my mom always focused on the?why. Like her Can Do Friends, the?how?might look unconventional, but she always found a way to achieve her?why.
4. Never Give Up.?When I was 10, my mom gave me a poem called?“Don’t Quit.”?A version of it still hangs on my office wall. It was her guiding principle and a reminder to persevere when things get tough.
5. Erase “Can’t” from Your Vocabulary.?To this day, I cringe when I hear the word “can’t.” My mom often reminded us:?“There is no such thing as ‘can’t.’ There is only ‘can.’”

Though my mom is no longer with us, her spirit and can-do attitude live on through me, my brothers, and our children. I hope this post spreads her resilience and optimism to you.

If this message resonates with you, share it with someone who might benefit. And if you have thoughts or reflections, I’d love to hear them here.