Cannabis and Recovery
I can't believe it's been 5 years I've been sober. To be honest, I thought it was 6. Five years ago I realized that I was Sisyphus, trying to push a barrel of alcohol over a hill of depression, and decided enough was enough. I was spiraling out of control and knew those around me were suffering, especially my wife and daughter.
Losing track of the time is an important part of recovery. Counting days, or even years, is detrimental to the process as the self-stigma of who you were will still dominate who you are. Letting the past be and just being present in the moment is what is important. Moving forward without guilt or shame of the past allows us to continue, free of those chains of who we were.
It is also important to realize that Substance Use Disorder (SUD) is not a disease, it is not the main cause of suffering; it is but a symptom of something deeper. It is a series of learned behaviours that we use to treat all kinds of trauma; that is a self-fulfilling prophecy. We use substances to not feel bad, (scientifically that's what drugs and alcohol do - manipulate our brain chemistry to feel good) but then we feel worse when we aren't using, so we use again, this time needing more, to not feel that way.
There's been discussion, and a recent misunderstanding, of co-morbidity and what that means. With SUD, co-morbidity is related to what is causing it, usually something related to mental health. Studies show that individuals suffering from SUD have a high ACE (Adverse Childhood Experience ) score, up to 90% of individuals in some demographic groups. https://www.npr.org/.../take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what... This is why many recovery programs do not work for everyone, relapse is common, and treatment facilities become a revolving door and big business. It is important that people suffering from SUD not only get treatment for it but continue to get support after treatment. If you put someone through a program then put them back onto the street with no place to live, no job, no social supports, no follow up therapy or counseling, of course, they are going to relapse to the only thing that made them not feel bad.
If the root cause of WHY someone uses substances isn't treated, i.e. depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, PTSD, anxiety, etc., the potential for relapse is always there. Recovery becomes a double-edged sword, 1. you are struggling to change your behaviour and not use; 2. you now have to deal with an exacerbated mental health issue without the substances you used to treat it. Anger, sadness, anxiety, regret, guilt, and shame, are piled one on top of another until it is a mountain that must be climbed. It is work, hard work, and I couldn't have done it without my supports, the same wife and daughter that suffered in the first place. Many look at that mountain and give up because it is too high.
Cannabis was a huge part of my recovery. When I was researching medical cannabis use I discovered the endocannabinoid system (ECS) and how it works. The endocannabinoid system is embedded in all our body systems, including the brain and our neurological systems. Our body creates its own endo (internal) cannabinoids that help regulate our bodies and maintain homeostasis, a balance of all our systems. When the ECS is out of balance it can affect many different parts of our body, including our mental health. Phyto (plant-based) cannabinoids, found in the cannabis plant, can put that system back into balance. I no longer use cannabis to be impaired, (in fact I'm so aware of my body and mind now that being impaired is uncomfortable) and I instead practice what is called 'micro-dosing'. This is the practice of only using enough cannabis to get the benefits of the plant without the impairment effects. Cannabis Use Disorder is real, and if you're using more than is necessary to maintain balance in your body, you are no longer using it as medicine, you are dependent on it and not treating what is causing you to use it in excess. Any behaviour is addictive if you're using it to manage aspects of your life. If any behaviour negatively impacts things like relationships, work, or health, it's considered an addiction. The key here though is that compared to substances such as alcohol or opiates, it is much easier to reign in cannabis dependence so it is more manageable, and the side effects are negligible and easy to overcome.
People are suffering, especially in these dire times. I can help. I offer private consultations on not only the SMART Recovery program, but the safe use of cannabis, and can teach you how to integrate the two. If you are ready to take the journey, do the work, and get on a better path, I can help. Book through our website at your convenience, and know that I keep the utmost confidentiality. It is time to become the person you were meant to be. https://triplejscannaspace.ca/memberships-consultations
This is my soundtrack today. It becomes more and more relevant as I get older: loss, hardship, doom; but also happiness and a bright future. Thanks for reading. Keep your chin up, focus on the present and future, and lay to rest the past.