Cancer & Community: Your Support Nextdoor

I’ll never forget one day from eight years ago.

I was in the hospital, waiting for my husband, Don, to be released from his routine colonoscopy. It was a Friday afternoon, and I was anxious to drop him off at home, so I could get back to the office to wrap up some work.

But I soon had a feeling that something was off. It was taking much longer than expected. And when the nurse finally brought him out to me, his face was blank, and he wouldn’t utter a word.?

When he got in the car, the words spilled out of his mouth: They think I have cancer.

We spent that weekend in agony, awaiting the pathology results and the official diagnosis that would come a few days later: stage 3 colon cancer. Even though I had worked in healthcare for over 25 years, I wasn’t fully prepared for the shock, stress, and isolation that came along with this life-altering news. There’s no guidebook for getting through cancer— and we certainly needed one.

Thankfully, Don is cancer-free today. And I hope I can use some of my hard-earned wisdom as a caregiver to help make it a better experience for others.

A dreaded but common diagnosis

Cancer will touch all of us at some point in our lives. One in two men and one in three women will get a cancer diagnosis in their lifetimes, according to the National Cancer Institute (NCI). Add to that the number of people caring for family members and friends with cancer, and you have an immense need for more cancer support.

That’s why I believe so strongly in the work #HealthAtWPP is doing to help create more connections for cancer patients and their caregivers. As a part of these efforts, we’ve launched a collaboration with the social networking app #NextDoor. Whether it's within communities or companies, we can all give people more moments of hope as they navigate one of life's toughest challenges. ?

Even with the major medical advances in recent years and improved survival rates, cancer continues to be people’s number one fear. According to our recent research from BAV and Ogilvy Health’s #RebrandingCancer campaign, it surpasses divorce and job loss as the most terrifying life event that could happen to you. This fear is not unfounded— a cancer diagnosis brings with it a mix of stressors, including the uncertainty, the treatments and side effects, the stigma, and, of course, the fear of death.

Plus, many people face cancer feeling alone. Our research revealed that 63% of people felt completely overwhelmed by a cancer diagnosis and 53% felt isolated. Too many cancer patients are hesitant to seek support. Some 59% do not feel comfortable asking for help from their local community.?

From empathy to errands

Our teams across WPP are working with their clients in healthcare to transform the way people experience cancer, by turning it from an isolating experience to one full of community connections and support.?

Looking back on my husband’s cancer treatment period, it was a very long and stressful 18 months. Our adult kids, who were in college and working, were very supportive. So, I’m grateful to them. But as much as I have an incredible group of family and friends, I felt the most alone in my life.

I kept Don’s diagnosis private out of fear of stigma—I didn’t want it to negatively impact him and his business. I’d prided myself on being someone who helps others, but when it came to my own needs, I simply didn’t know how to express them.?When people offered to bring over food, I would protest by saying: “Please don’t bother. He’s probably not going to eat it.”? I would have loved for a friend to simply say to me, “Hey, let’s get out of the house and grab lunch.”?

Our research, and countless other studies, show that support can make a profound difference for cancer patients and their caregivers. According to our survey, 36% of cancer patients who received local community support reported feeling less stress. In addition, every single respondent reported feeling more hopeful after receiving such support. If each of us can create a little hope for a patient or caregiver, that hope can go a long way.?

Check out the full survey results exploring the impact of community support on cancer patients and their caregivers.?

Showing up for a cancer patient or caregiver doesn't need to be complicated, expensive, or time-consuming. The key here is to move beyond vague offers of support (“I’m sorry, let me know if I can do anything”) to specifics.?A good friend, who’s going through cancer in her own family, really appreciates when we offer to let her dogs out while they are dealing with medical appointments. Another friend has created an online sign-up list so her support network can give her husband rides to his chemo appointments. ?

If you’re stuck on coming up with just the right offer of help for your cancer patient or caregiver, make a list of potential things you can do and let them decide. I promise, this will go a long way. And be sure to include a simple conversation on that list: In our survey, the number one area where cancer patients/caregivers wish they had more support was “someone to talk to.” Talking to a friend outranked chores, meals, rides, and other forms of practical help.

Cancer will always be scary. But by tearing down the walls of isolation, we can transform cancer into a journey of community, shared strength, and hope.