Cancel Anytime
Andrea L. Enright
? Life’s Boxes, But Still Blah? || Permission Coach || I Help Women Do Hard Things & Come HOME to SELF || 25 Yr Entrep, Speaker, Podcaster, B Movie Actress || You CAN Go Your Own Way--Fleetwood Mac Was Right
Sound familiar?
This phrase is most often used when we’re signing up for a Direct Primary Care plan or the Cheesecake-of-the-Month club, right?
When we’re about to pay for something, we like reassurance that there’s no long term commitment should we change our mind.
However….
…when we make plans for breakfast with friends, we don’t say at the end of the text string, “cancel anytime”.
But should we?
And so this all comes down to a question.
When you cancel plans on others, HOW DO YOU FEEL?
A) Guilty
B) Free!
C) Just fine
When people cancel plans on you, how do you feel?
A) Annoyed
B) Glad that they have good boundaries
C) Secretly happy because you wanted to stay home
For most of my life I was very hesitant to cancel plans. I always felt guilty.
I wanted to uphold this image of reliability.
I wanted to be the PERSON who kept plans.
I did NOT want to be a flake.
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And now, I feel VERY differently.
It might be Costa Rica that did it.
In that country, peeps not only had no trouble canceling plans, but didn't like to MAKE plans until the day of.
This drove me crazy to an extent, but it freed up my mind to do lots of other things.
It made me live my life based on feelings instead of calendars.
And I now have much less issue canceling plans or rescheduling meetings.
I have better boundaries.
I do a lot less shit I don't want to do.
I realize that sometimes the occasion really matters and....most of the time....... it doesn't.
And I realize that even though it SEEMED like I was being considerate of OTHERS before, I was actually thinking of myself as TOO GOSH DARN important.
As if everyone's DAY would be ruined because they weren't seeing me for lunch. In reality, those people were probably saying: "Bummer." and then swiftly getting back to feeding their pet iguana or making grilled cheese for their kids.
The word "commitment" still has a place in my life. And I don't easily break plans.
But I have better boundaries.
And it's a much nicer place to live.
Thoughts?
P.S. I’m in the business of transformation. Like SERIOUS consciousness-raising: Moxie, Messaging and Manifestation of your best self. Muggles need not apply.
Protect Assets, Live & Work Privately through Status Correction, Equity, & Irrevocable Business Trusts | Freedom Activist, Youtuber & Educator | World traveler, Carnivore, & Salsa Dancer
1 年I do everything possible to honor my time commitments with others, out of respect for their time and attention, and mine. And I expect the same from others. I would say "no" in advance if I thought there was a good chance that I would not be able to make it; or at the least make that possibility very clear to the other party.
I help busy professionals overcome painful relationship patterns so they can create deeper connections without spending years in therapy Founder of The Family Imprint Institute
1 年Oh yeah, I can relate, Andrea. We moved to Mexico almost a year ago and I had to learn that people here don't commit to things ahead of time and often show up late to events when they do decide to join in. I've learned to relax about it all. While noticing to balance how I'm feeling day of with what I give my precious energy to. ??
Dominatrix, Author, High Priestess and 7 Figure CEO | Writing a "Eat Pray Love meets 50 Shades" Book | Surrender Expert | Leadership Training for Men and Women
1 年Haha! I love the "muggles need not apply" And being in Costa Rica currently I can so relate to what you say. On my year of surrender I have been letting myself cancel more when it is clear that I was off track. No apologies, not explanation. So liberating. Andrea L. Enright
Empowering Parents to Save Time and Create Financial Security | Specializing in College, Retirement & Lifestyle Planning | Knitter & Dog Enthusiast
1 年Interesting thoughts Andrea L. Enright. When friends cancel, I respect their boundaries, but if they cancel a lot, I admit, I will start to think they're a flake. I do think that women tend to get more annoyed when someone cancels on them. I'd love to hear whether you think there's a difference in males vs. females on this issue.
Speaker | Author | Mentor Science & Tech Execs to Drive Decisions Faster| HOW-TO Model??Creator | Your Guide to Telling 'Stories that Stick' to Stakeholders
1 年Andrea L. Enright I am with you! I often love when ppl cancel on me, more time for me. I too set boundaries. But I too don't cancel without thoughtful consideration, bc I know the other person was committed.