Can you be what you cannot see?

I often ponder that question and it seems fitting on International Women's Day 2020 to share my view.

I grew up in a traditional Irish Catholic family and the world I knew was one where my father went to work and my mother stayed at home to look after four children. It wasn't really as if mum ever had the choice. In 1970's Ireland, women who worked in the civil service had to resign from their jobs when they became wives and it was tax prohibitive at that time to stay in a job if you were a mother. And whilst the Ireland of today is light years away from that time, the beginning of my childhood was set against this backdrop.

In terms of career and ambition, the female role models I observed as a 5 year old or indeed a 15 year old, were nuns and teachers. No surprise then that for a long time, I wanted to become a teacher too. But for any of the disadvantages of attending a single sex school, the one overwhelming advantage was that I didn't know anything other than girls doing any subject they were interested in - granted the physics class was pretty small but it was there and available and certainly not categorised as a 'male subject'.

And whilst I think this is an important reflection, there is one far more overwhelming than that, namely the very role my mother did play in my formative years. She walked us up and down to school every day until she finally got her drivers license in the early 90s. She put the needs of four children ahead of her own and during the years when my dad worked crazy, long hours as he built up his career, she practically solo-parented us into decent human beings.

But it's the little things I remember - like the times when she sat in the waiting room with me, supporting me as I nervously waited to go into to do a piano exam, like the times when sat in the audience and watched me in a debating competition (even the German ones she couldn't understand!) or cooked me my favourite meals when I was a nightmare during stressful exam periods. There were glorious moments too, the day I came home to announce I quit my computer science degree after 3 days to pursue a pure languages degree instead - to the horror of my dad - but I know from the look on her face and the wry smile - that she was silently cheering me on that I was empowered enough to chose the path less travelled.

Can you be what you cannot see? Well maybe yes, maybe no - in my mum, I did not see an ambitious career women but what I did see was empathy, resilience, selflesslessness and a deep rooted trust and conviction in who she was raising. She gifted me with bravery from the sidelines and had my back at every turn.

So on International Women's Day, this is my shout-out to the amazing women in the background, on the sidelines, in the audience or that waiting room and doing the school run. Thank you for giving us solid foundations and making sacrifices so that we can empower the next generation of women to be great!