Can You Understand?

To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.? - Tony Robbins

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Do you remember the first time you hit it off with someone?? One of my childhood friends was like that.? We hung out together and spent endless hours playing video games, hanging out at clubs, watching sports, and doing a wealth of other things.? It was fun!? It was as if we could finish each other’s sentences.? Those are fun times that many of us enjoy even today perhaps with a spouse, sibling, or loved one, but it is a special relationship that you have with a friend.? Many of us find that type of relationship at work with colleagues.

However, we often find that there are people in the workplace that are quite the opposite of us.? In fact, some would say that they rub us the wrong way.? Most of the time we do not even realize why that is.? This can be particularly tricky when you are a leader as you are responsible for helping all those you are responsible for.? One of the most difficult issues I had was with a former employee who I struggled communicating with.? I tried different things to show how supportive I was and gave them information in a timely manner.? However, the message never seemed to get through.? It was like the movie ‘Rush Hour’ where Chris Tucker, the L.A. police cop, talks to Jackie Chan, a Hong Kong detective, for the first time, and even though Jackie spoke English, Chris awkwardly says, “Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?”? I asked myself, “Was this my fault?”? While their performance was not up to the standard I expected, I learned a valuable lesson about communication styles.? As it turned out, much of the issue was due to the inability to understand their style and vice versa.? After taking a course on communication styles, it became apparent that I needed to work on the style most opposite of my own.

Leading others requires that we communicate effectively.? In my prior article, the focus was on preparing to communicate with others such as knowing how you communicate, learning what others need, being clear on your intention, and being willing to take risks to learn what work best.? That is the majority of what it takes to be successful, but it is not enough.? In learning what others need, you must be aware of what style you are dealing with.? That is what the rest of this article is about.? It is focusing on the four communication styles.? As you can see from the chart below, they are quite nuanced and at times difficult to deal with depending on where you fall on the chart.? Nonetheless, you will be able to navigate these if you know their tendencies, and as the saying goes, knowing is half the battle.? So, let’s investigate these styles:? Driver, Analytical, Expressive, and Amiable.

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For the sake of simplicity, imagine you are in a classroom, and the teacher is soliciting the class for answers to a question.? See if you remember these types in your class.

Drivers (Task-Oriented, Fast Pace)

Drivers are the ones who want to be straight to the point and get the answer right away so they can move on to the next thing.? They typically do not want to waste time analyzing a situation or engaging in any of the warm and fuzzy stuff.? If they sense you are taking too long to get to the answer, they will take control of the situation to figure it out on their own.? This style is great for situations where time is limited, and you want to lead people efficiently (i.e. drive the car).? Communicating with drivers is very fundamental.? You need to be concise and direct, without a lot of frills in your communication.? This is very difficult for Amiables as they want to slowly build the relationship that Drivers usually do not care for.? This does not mean just giving yes and no answers although that might sometimes be necessary.? It does mean that if you need to explain something to them, there is no need to sugar coat it.? Just give them the answer with a brief explanation of ‘why.’? They will ask if they need more information.? If they push to ‘drive the car,’ explain to them they can but guide them when it will be unproductive.? Remember, time is what they value most, and the more time you can save them, the better they will respond.

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Analyticals (Task-Oriented, Slow Pace)

Analyticals seek to understand the context and relevance of question in relation to the subject matter.? Their goal is to collect information to comprehend what is required and its significance.? For them, the process is as important as the solution.? If you cannot give them enough information, they will devalue what you have to say.? This is a great style for when people need know intricacies involved in a decision where understanding the complexities of it is crucial.? Communicating with Analyticals requires an attention to detail.? This can be challenging for Expressives who prefer broad, less detailed communication without explaining.? While Drivers appreciate yes and no answers, Analyticals are like the child who is constantly asking ‘why.’? This should not be viewed as annoying.? Instead, it is should be viewed as a way to ensure sufficient thought and detail has been considered.? Explaining to them the ‘whys’ gives them the comfort and confidence to move forward.? If they seem to ‘overanalyze,’ it is a clue they need more data to support your decisions.? Keep in mind data is what they value most, and the more information you can provide, the better they will respond.

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Expressives (Relationship-Oriented, Fast Pace)

Expressives are the ones who want to make sure everyone is involved in the solution and encourage everyone to keep things lively.? Learning needs to be fun for them.? They spend their time engaging and enjoying the moment, and things need to be put in a glass half full type scenario for them see the full picture.? This is great when you need to influence a bigger group, and they are the ones that can be advocates for the team when motivated properly.? The big picture matters to them, and if you cannot communicate with them with that in mind, you will tend to lose them.? Analyticals struggle with this group because they get bogged down into the details that Expressives hate.? If they look bored, it means they do not see the bigger picture.? Tying things to the big picture is how one wins over this group.? Sharing the value in the overall scheme of things will excite them and keep them motivated.? Remember, the vision is what they value most, and the better you can crystallize it for them, the better they will respond.

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Amiables (Relationship-Oriented, Slow Pace)

Amiables are the ones who are always concerned about the students that might be left behind and might even reach out to them individually to make sure they are okay.? They are dedicated to ensuring no one is overlooked and often take the initiative to provide personal support.? They spend their time building close knit relationships to ensure that both parties feel good about things.? Their focus is on fostering strong, positive connections where everyone feels valued.? Amiables prioritize the well-being of both individuals and the team, and they need to see the impact of their efforts.? Their supportive nature makes them excellent mentors or listeners helping others improve.? Likability is what matters to them the most as well as the happiness of each team member, and they are sensitive to dismissive communication.? Therefore, Drivers often find it challenging to connect with Amiables, as they can be seen as uncaring.? When Amiables appear withdrawn, it indicates their concerns are being overlooked.? Focusing on the human aspect and highlighting the importance of their contributions to the team can win them over.? Remember, Amiables value the relationship above all, and the stronger the relationship you build with them, the better they will respond.

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Understanding and adapting to different communication styles is crucial for effective leadership and fostering a harmonious workplace. ?Whether you are dealing with Drivers who value time, Analyticals who seek detailed information, Expressives who thrive on big-picture visions, or Amiables who prioritize relationships, tailoring your communication approach can make a significant difference. ?By recognizing and respecting these diverse styles, you not only enhance your ability to convey messages clearly but also build stronger, more productive relationships with your colleagues. ?Remember, the key to successful communication lies in your willingness to understand and adapt.? Effective communication is not just about what you say, but how you say it.? So, let’s put in the work to ensure we are communicating effectively.? Can you understand the words coming out of my mouth?