Can You Spot a Narcissist in the Workplace?

We hear the term “narcissist” a lot these days, but most of us don’t really know what it means — even if we think we do. You may think that it’s someone who is “self-absorbed” or “in love with the sound of their own voice.”

Through my experience with clients, I’ve noticed that you only learn what it truly means when you’re working with one (or in any close relationship with one) and are forced to face it.

Here’s the thing: It can be really helpful to know what a narcissist in the workplace looks like. Once you spot one, you can be strategic about how you engage.

So, how do you spot a narcissist in the workplace?

The person in question:

• Seems kind of charming (usually)
• Loves talking about themselves
• Isn’t curious about anyone beyond the social necessity of asking one question, like, “How are you?”
• Thrives on being in performance mode and loves being the center of attention
• Seems to have a life where everything is bigger, better, and more important
• Name-drops, kisses up, and seeks association with people who others admire or who hold power
• Comes across as superior or arrogant
• Seems to generate conflict
• Likes to be in control

If those behaviors sound familiar, here’s what else to pay attention to:

• Poor listening skills (due to lack of interest in what others have to say)
• Poor question-asking skills
• Conversations that inevitably turn back to them or their opinions
• Lack of consideration for what others bring to the table
• Inability to know what information others may actually need
• Invalidation, belittlement, or dismissiveness— “It’s my way or the highway”
• Conflicts flare up, but it's always someone else's doing
• Poor social skills, with no effort to improve
• Control-oriented; could be a micromanager
• Takes credit, even if only peripherally involved
• When things go wrong, it’s never their fault. They’re always the victim; someone else is to blame.

Another powerful indicator that you’re dealing with a narcissist is how they make you feel:

Interactions with narcissists tend to feel like they’re messing with your mind. You’re likely to feel:

• Oddly aggravated
• Like you need to fight back or figure out how to stand up for yourself
• Confused about “what just happened there”
• Defensive or aggressive
• Like it’s a no-win situation—no matter what you do, you could end up looking bad
• Unsupported

Narcissists can really undermine morale in the workplace, but they often stay in place or even get promoted. That’s because it’s hard for managers to recognize narcissism since narcissists treat the boss differently from everyone else.?

Colleagues and underlings experience the brunt of working with a narcissist. Bosses don’t want to hear employees badmouthing each other and tend to be suspicious of the person bringing the news.?

And HR? They’re usually not much help. It’s rare for an employee to successfully bring this to management’s attention.

Wondering how to navigate working with a narcissist in your office? Need more than just a few tips? I can help you develop a customized strategy based on your specific situation - reach out!

This article was originally published on my site worklifenow.com