Can you remove a negative memory?
In his recent documentary, David Beckham stated that he would a pill that can remove negative memories, when talking about his red card and subsequent events. Is it possible to “remove” negative memories and if so, should we do it? If Beckham didn’t go through his traumatic period of burning effigies and being the most hated man in England, would he have had his glorious career and become the national treasure he is today?
We are who we are because of our memories. We learn how to act and respond in the world because of what we have learned, been taught and experienced, either passively (happening to someone else) or actively happening to you). As humans, we make meaning out of our experiences, these form our belief systems. These beliefs that we hold about ourselves create our thoughts, behaviours and character, all without any conscious control or input.
Traditional talk therapy helps people to open up and try and make sense of their situation. It is highly beneficial but it comes with a host of drawbacks including re-traumatisation, endless sessions and great expense. Talking about a problem doesn’t necessarily create any change in feelings or behaviour.
Integral Eye Movement Techniques (IEMT) is different from talk therapy. Instead of having the client talk about the memories, it focuses on the structure of the memory (the sub-modalities) and the imprints to emotional responses. Although we can not say for certain what is happening at a neurological level, what we do know is that when a client holds a traumatic memory and has their eyes moved in a certain, it produces very predictable and consistent results. ?
When we are young and experiencing things for the first time, we are laying down kinesthetic responses towards things. We do not have the experience, maturity or cognitive faculty to understand or make sense of what is happening. These responses stay with us as memories are encoded at the time of exposure, the more traumatic the stronger we remember them. These responses teach us how to keep safe, but as adults it can limit our choices and overall quality of life.
IEMT is a process that allows you to go back to sensitising events and “reprocess” them from an adult’s perspective. Imagine the tv programs you used to watch as a child. If you viewed them now they would seem completely different. This is because you have grown up and changed, however the program has remained the same. IEMT allows the client to experience past experiences from who they are now, therefore gaining an adult’s perspective of the memory.
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IEMT changes memories in several ways. Typically, after the eye movements, memories are less vivid, feel further away, have a much lever emotional connection, feel more objective and a change overall significance. This is all achieved without the client ever having to divulge the content or narrative of the memory, only the structure.
IEMT does not remove memories, it readdresses them. By working on our traumatic experiences your belief systems start to change and therefore you gain control over your automatic reactions and behaviours. IEMT also helps with issues such as flashbacks, night terrors and anxiety. All without the client having to relive or talk about their past.
IEMT practitioners help their clients to get out of being stuck in life, by weakening the emotional bonds that constrain them. It is not about over powering, or force, it is about resetting our emotional responses to a proportionate level. It isn’t removing the speaker, it is turning off the electricity that feeds it.
Matt Kendall