Can You Really Trust the Way You See?

A wise young man once asked me, "How do I know if the way I am seeing something is true?"

Rather than give him the answer, I asked him this question: "When have you had an experience where you absolutely knew that what you were seeing and experiencing was true?" He thoughtfully reflected, and with emotion began to tell the story of a poignant moment with his father.

"What were the feelings you had then?" I asked. Without hesitation, he immediately named love, joy, and peace.

Quietly I said to him, "You have just answered your own question." Immediately, the truth of it burst upon his soul and his eyes filled with tears. Love, joy, and peace swallowed us up as he wept for joy.

His question has great relevance to every person. Life has twists and turns, situations that stretch and challenge us as we experience our own and others' mistakes, or unexpected misfortune.` Sometimes unresolved hurt or untrue beliefs are called forth by our experiences leading to negative emotions, doubt and fear. When this happens, it is easy to swirl, feel frustrated, blame, and withdraw. This is as human as breathing, and because we all have weakness, just as we have strengths, sometimes we are caught here.

The great news is that every human being is also endowed with the power to choose how he/she will see what is happening. In that moment, you can look at your emotion as a clue to the fact that your present "story" isn't true. You can give yourself grace and hold yourself with gentleness as you remind yourself without judgment that everyone gets caught in untrue stories and mistakes. No one is exempt.

As you do this, you will also find yourself giving more grace to others. This leads to feelings of love, joy, and peace. Ironically, the only thing in your situation to change is you!

You can swap your old story for a better one (change your way of seeing) by asking these simple questions with complete Unconditional Curiosity:

In the end it's not what happens to you that causes you to feel and do certain things, or end up with results or relationships that are less than optimal. It is how you choose to see. Do you see clearly - with acuity? Your feelings will give you a clue to the answer.

If you want more love, joy, and peace in your life, choose your stories (about yourself, others, and your situations) wisely. Your emotions are the fruits of your thoughts - not your situations - and they produce all results and relationships in your life.

Choose wisely! A lot depends upon it.

This article has been written by DeAnna Murphy, Lisa Gregory, and Steve Jeffs, who lead the People Acuity thought leader team and are the authors of the book Shift Up! Strengths Strategies for Optimal Living. They are also the creators of a validated measurement tool evaluating Work Joy, Team Connection, Confident Vulnerability? and Proactivity. Between them they have worked in nearly 50% of the Fortune 500 and Global1000 firms and collectively hold over one hundred certifications and international and national recognitions. Learn more about them - and seeing with greater acuity - at www.peopleacuity.com: