Can you learn Gravitas?

Coming up in this month's newsletter:

• Why gravitas is an important quality for leaders, my response to the ‘can you learn it’ question and three strategies for success
• Podcast excerpt: What is Gravitas? Interview with Lovelda Vincenzi
• Monthly tip: finding your inner confidence
• Upcoming Gravitas courses

Hello!

Welcome to your Leading with Gravitas Newsletter! I'm Antoinette Dale Henderson, and I'm excited to help you fulfil your leadership potential, whatever that means for you.

Gravitas is key to helping you stand out as a leader, whether you have leader in your title or not. Whether you're steering a team, managing difficult conversations, making high-stakes decisions or accelerating your leadership career, gravitas will help you to get your voice heard and respected.

Although many believe gravitas is a quality you’re born with, I’m on a mission to prove that anyone can develop gravitas at any time in their career, no matter what demographic they represent.

In each issue of this newsletter, I'll incorporate key insights from my books , Leading with Gravitas and Power Up, alongside lessons from my experience of working with leaders from all walks of life.

You’ll gain practical tips, expert advice, and real-world examples to help you tackle challenges like building influence, navigating uncertainty, and inspiring trust. And like your very own Gravitas Agony Aunt, I’ll be on hand to answer any career conundrums you may have!

Let’s unlock your leadership potential — subscribe now and start leading with gravitas.

Enjoy!

Antoinette

Why is gravitas important for leaders?

You only have to witness a debate, watch a presentation or observe a meeting to realise that gravitas is a vital leadership skill, particularly in a competitive and fast-moving environment.

In a world full of change, gravitas gives you credibility, keeps you calm and in control, and inspires people to follow your lead.

Note that this doesn’t mean shouting louder or talking more than everyone else. In fact, it’s often the people who listen carefully before making their point who have the most gravitas in the room.

?Can you learn it?

To the ‘can you learn it?’ question, my response is a resounding YES, of course you can. But you do need a plan.

When I was at the start of my leadership career, I missed out on a promotion because someone believed I didn’t “have enough” gravitas. This came as a real shock. I knew I was ticking all the boxes to get to the next level, but somehow I was missing this magical ingredient. Trouble was, no one seemed to know what it was or how I should go about developing it!

Years later, by this time, an executive coach working in corporates, I found myself being asked repeatedly: “What is gravitas and how can I develop it for myself?”. That’s when I set out to decode it, and now share my findings in my keynotes and programmes.

In my research I examined the characteristics that leaders with gravitas share in the 21st century, characteristics that you can emulate if you are looking to develop your gravitas.

So what is gravitas?

One of the first things I realised is that gravitas is defined not by how you see yourself, but by the perception of the people around you – your audiences – and so it up to them to decide whether you have ‘it’ or not. That being said, although gravitas, like beauty is in the eye of the beholder, the extent to which people see gravitas in you is within your power to determine. If you feel worthy of people’s attention and respect, you will be more likely to receive it.

In Leading with Gravitas, I define gravitas as a powerful combination of qualities that evoke respect and authority. It's not simply about being serious or stern; it’s about cultivating a presence that compels people to take you seriously. Gravitas is a fusion of wisdom, confidence, integrity, and the ability to communicate with clarity and purpose. It’s what makes others listen when you speak and trust your judgment, even in the most challenging situations.

Three strategies for developing gravitas

If you want to develop your gravitas, the good news is, it’s not an inherent trait; it’s a skill that can be developed and refined over time. In Leading with Gravitas, I outline several strategies that can help you cultivate this essential leadership quality. Here are three of my favourite:

1. Self-awareness and reflection

Developing gravitas begins with self-awareness. Understanding your strengths, weaknesses, values, and motivations is crucial. Reflect on your leadership style and consider how others perceive you.

Seeking feedback is an invaluable step in this process, offering insights into your current impact and areas for growth. Self-awareness allows you to align your actions with your values, fostering authenticity and integrity—both cornerstones of gravitas.

As well as feedback, I recommend you complete a psychometric tool based on a respected leadership framework. This will broaden your appreciation of the range of qualities you could develop and expand your future potential.

2. Exceptional communication skills

At the heart of gravitas lies effective communication. Leaders with gravitas are not only articulate but also attentive listeners. They communicate with clarity and purpose, ensuring their message resonates with their audience.

This is about tuning into your emotional intelligence and mastering both verbal and non-verbal communication – all of which can be learnt. Skills include telling powerful stories to get your message across, managing your mindset so that you speak with confidence, being disciplined enough to prepare in advance, and choosing body language that conveys assurance and authority. Remember, it’s not just what you say, but how you say it.

3. Staying cool under pressure

What happens when things get heated at work? Do you remain swanlike, or do your emotions run away with you? A true test of gravitas is how you handle pressure. Leaders with gravitas remain calm and composed even in the most demanding situations. They don’t allow emotions to dictate their actions, and they make clear, rational decisions under stress.

This is a lot easier said than done! Staying cool under pressure is a mixture of ongoing techniques and having practical strategies up your sleeve when you’re triggered. I recommend practicing mindfulness (there are some great apps for this) and stress management techniques to maintain a steady state. And for triggering moments, breathing in (and out!) is a great strategy for staying grounded.

In stressful, pressurised situations, it’s often tempting to ‘react’ to what’s going on around you. Learning how to detach emotionally and deploying what I’ve termed the ‘power pause’, will give you greater agency to choose your reaction to what’s going on and enable you to maintain your composure.

Interview extract: Lovelda Vincenzi

During the pandemic, I had the pleasure and privilege to be interviewed by podcaster, moderator and TV host, Lovelda Vincenzi, for her Women of Power Show. We’d only just gone into lockdown, so my technical set up wasn’t as professional as it is now, and my WiFi was compromised by my whole family trying to connect with the outside world at the same time. Despite the technical challenges, we had a great conversation. Here’s an extract, where I answer the ‘What is gravitas?’ question. You can hear more here.

This is an excerpt from an interview with Lovelda Vincenzi. Watch the full interview here.

Monthly Tip: fire up your inner-confidence!

Every month, I answer the most common questions I get asked by my coachees. The most common one is: ‘how can I build my confidence?’. So here’s my answer, taken from my second book, Power Up.

One of the biggest barriers to confidence can be competitiveness, where we compare ourselves to others – usually unfavourably – and begin to see them as a threat. Although competition can be healthy between teams, it can often be detrimental between individuals. As we look over our shoulder at how other people are doing, we can come across as self-centred, insecure and petty, and lose focus on our own purpose or the job in hand.

One of the most effective routes to building self-confidence is to identify what input you need to feel good about yourself. You could think of it like a magnet. You can choose to fire up a negatively-charged force that attracts self-doubt, criticism and all the evidence of things that have ‘gone wrong’. Or you could choose to fire up a positively-charged magnet that attracts confidence, recognition, praise and self-worth.

In choosing to fire up the positive magnet you not only enhance the way that you think about yourself, you are also creating a virtuous cycle mindset that’s conducive to ongoing success?

What do you need to feel good about yourself?

As you think about the kind of input you need to feel confident, consider whether you’re ‘internally referenced’, i.e., you need to create your own evidence of a job well done, or ‘externally referenced’, i.e., you need recognition from others. If internal validation makes you tick, train your brain to focus on what you’ve done well rather than what you could have done better. For external validation, make feedback part of your working culture – with the secret being to make sure you absorb the positive qualities as well as what you could do to improve. ?

Upcoming Events

If you’d like to invest in your development or would like to accelerate the potential of your team, there are various options to choose from, with limited spaces available on each. Choose from attendance on the course, or attendance plus a 121 coaching session with me.

Gravitas Masterclass

One day course?designed for managers and leaders to increase confidence and credibility when communicating with any audiences, a step-by-step guide for increasing visibility, making a powerful impact and supercharging your career progression.?Secure your spot here

Gravitas for Women

A two day course - an exclusive opportunity for senior women to focus on their executive presence and leadership brand and access practical skills to maximise their personal impact and influence. Book here .

If you’d like to book onto the courses, or would like to find out more, please email me with your request and we will make it happen.

And in my capacity as Gravitas Agony Aunt, please DM your questions and challenges so that I can, anonymously, feature them in the monthly tips section.

To your ongoing success!