Can You Hear Me Now?

Inspiring other people to do hard things is an essential part of a leader’s role.? It’s also possibly the most challenging.? No matter how much a leader tries to inspire, whether the person on the receiving end is inspired is a different story.

This theme came up in multiple situations for me over the last week.? One client was concerned that their feedback for a direct report may not have landed with the intended severity.? Another client felt they would have been receptive, rather than defensive, if they had been given feedback in a more empathetic way.? And, in a personal example, after attending and discussing a series of spiritual lectures with a group of friends, I realized we had each heard and taken away a slightly different message, coming away with varying shades of confusion and clarity.?

We often conflate the idea of influence with ownership, believing that our title or role entirely directs our ability to inspire others to action.? But in practice, influence operates more like an FM radio. When we transmit a message (be it an idea, expectation, feedback or need) one of three scenarios are possible:

1. The receiver is switched off.
2. The receiver is on, but tuned to a different frequency.
3. The receiver is on, and tuned to the same frequency.

Influence only occurs in the third case.??

In the first scenario, strong judgment and mistrust are present.? In this dynamic, influence becomes secondary to rebuilding trust.?

In the second, there’s a mismatch between the level of awareness of the transmitter and receiver.? The Energy Leadership framework directly quantifies this awareness with Levels 1-7.? The greatest challenge in this case is that lower levels have a stronger gravitational pull than higher levels.? For example, an optimistic manager is more likely to get pulled into conflict when faced with aggressive resistance, rather than the other way around.??

But a highly conscious leader can recognize when there is a mismatch and intentionally meet others where they are, enabling a frequency match. They do this by acknowledging and validating the other’s experience. This deceptively simple skill is transformational in leadership.?

Warm Regards,

Divya

P.S.If you’re interested in learning this and more skills to grow your influence, let’s connect.