Can You Have It All?
Somewhere in the noise of becoming who we desire to be, we’ve forgotten the power of brevity and discernment--the fine balance between having too much or too little, a dance we all weave in and out of each day.
I spent most of my life pushing. Striving. Efforting. Doing. Chasing. Leading. Thriving sometimes, surviving other times. It was not until I named my addiction to "doing" that I was free to make other choices. That I was open to the possibility of other ways to do my day-to-day life. That I could and would make choices that connected who I am with what I do.
My first boss was my best boss. Anyone have one of those yet? She was a working mom at the time and I was a young 24 year old just starting out in her career.
Boyfriendless. Childless. Mortgageless.
My responsibilities were light to say the least. I think she saw in me who I did not yet see in myself.
A woman who believed that if it was to be it was up to me.
A woman who may not be able to discern between the necessary and unimportant.
A woman who would very quickly be consumed by her working identity.
And she was right. But something she said to me early on in our working relationship thankfully stayed with me until I could finally believe it.
"You can have it all Renée, just not at the same time."
At the time she said this I thought it was hogwash. Of course I could have it all and at the same time! What I would come to learn over the next 20 years was not only was this statement true, but if I spent years trying to prove it wrong, it would eventually bring me down. And that it did.
Just because you 'can' doesn't mean you 'should'. Said another way, we can have it all, just not at the same time.
That is the truth and if we are willing to accept it as such, it is a gift as well.
It means that when we pursue those things we truly want--a new relationship, career change, athletic goal, publishing a book--when we choose to not pursue them at the same time, we get to enjoy the beauty, richness and texture of each pursuit because it is not being suffocated by the rest of them.
What are you doing today that while you absolutely can, if you got more honest and clear within yourself, you know that you shouldn't? At least not right now.
Share your story in the comments!
Dedicated to Leadership Excellence | Navigating Challenges in Talent Management & Organizational Change
3 年Renée, thanks for sharing!
Ending trauma on a global scale one family at a time and it starts with healing ourselves! ??
3 年There are nuggets in this article, thanks for sharing I’d be honored to have you in my network Renée
Account Executive @ PaladinMDs | Marketing Communications, New Business Development
4 年Love it!
Global HRBP at CSL Vifor. “Turning emotions into opportunities to grow”
4 年And thanks always for your contributions! Always provoking and challenging. Wish you the best for this 2021 Renée!
Systems Team & Leadership Coach | Change & Learning Strategist
4 年What a lovely article Renee! I remember hearing the phrase for the first time at the PBWC many years ago. I had to pause and remembered thinking, “That’s it!! It’s the secret sauce to being successful, BALANCED, and HAPPY.” Since then, I live by this motto. Thx for sharing.