Can you have it all?

Hi friends

How has your week been? I know many of you will have been on half term, or may be on half term next week (like me). I hope you have managed to have some time off!?

Having it all

As you may know, I do lots of speaking and panel events talking about women's careers after they have children, flexible working and being a female founder.?

I am regularly asked whether I believe women can "have it all".?

I find the question frustrating. What is "all"? I discussed this earlier this week with the founder of Kindness for Success, ?Kim Stokes, who supports women in defining their all.?

If you're asking whether I believe women can be the parent they want to be, seek professional fulfilment and have financial security, then abso-bloody-lutely I do.??

I get cross when I hear women say that you can't. The implication is that you should put a career or having a family on hold for years to focus on one or the other. Some people may choose to do that, and I am wholly supportive of that. Splitting your attention between two very demanding priorities is hard work.?

But equally, perpetuating the narrative that we can't have a career and a family is damaging. I speak to many women in their twenties who are putting off having children because of the impact it will have on their careers. Poor support of men and women through gestation, adoption and the early years is leading to women falling out of their careers throwing away years of experience and costing businesses a fortune replacing them and retraining. In turn, this leads to huge gender pay gaps and poor equality in leadership.

We should make the right choices for our bodies and lives, not our work.

Imagine a world where people could decide when to have children according to what they want to do, rather than what they are forced to do to earn money.?

That world is entirely possible! There are employers out there who make this happen. They are employers with supportive policies, family-friendly cultures, and line managers who believe in their people. They are the employers that enable parents to step out, have their children, and then welcome them back with empathy and understanding.?

They are the employers seeking Careers After Babies accreditation!

Having it all isn't easy, "all" looks different for everyone. But hard work doesn't mean impossible!

Things you should check out

Listen to My Therapist Ghosted Me for a good old belly laugh, which we all need on a regular basis.

Follow me to make sure you're the first to hear about our upcoming Careers After Babies 2.0!

Read a classic, such as Pride & Prejudice, and remind yourself how different life is now then The Power to remind yourself how imbalanced things still are (not that I'm suggesting we would want this to happen!).?

I'm off for half term next week to enjoy some Halloween themed fun with my children. I hope you can do the same!

Until next time....

Jess

PS International Men's Day is approaching in November. I'm available to talk about men becoming allies, and can always bring along a man friend so required!