Can you be a great dad and still have a great career?

Just over 18 months ago my wife and I welcomed our 1st son into the world. It was a pretty surreal moment for both of us. No matter how prepared that you think you are you very quickly find out that the arrival of a child has this way of putting the brakes on everything else in your life. It's all true. Sleep, personal time, your career ... all of these things become luxuries and only rarely are you able to indulge.

I remember thinking that once I became a dad I would put my career on the back burner for a while and spend as much time as I could with our munchkin. I thought that my interest in my career would fizz out once I became a father so this wouldn't be a big deal.

Fast forward to now and I've realized that my career is also important to me, far more than I may have thought. Don't get me wrong, I love being a dad and I'm committed to the journey of trying to be great father. It's just that I also enjoy my job and it's become obvious that combining the two successfully long term is going to be ... well let's just say tricky.

Firstly, no one really talks about how tough it is to be a parent and at the same time to continue to be successful at work. I'm here to tell you that from my experience, It's not easy. In fact, it's one of the most difficult things that I have ever attempted.

Some dynamics that I'm learning to tackle include:

Guilt: When I miss a special moment at home I feel a mix of disappointment and guilt for not being there. It's tough. I've ducked into an office at work and had a bit of a man cry a few times after being sent videos of my sons (our 2nd son turned up less than 12 months after our eldest) doing something funny or new. I also feel some guilt when I know I couldn't give 100% to something at work. Over the past 18 months there have been times where I fell short of the mark. Sleep deprivation and exhaustion probably contributed to this however it didn't leave me feeling particularly good about myself.

Time: Time used to be something that I took for granted. Now... not so much. I've never been the most organized person however I'm learning that it's a key to survival when you're juggling work and family. I'm getting better although my wife still sets the benchmark as far as the most on-time and most organized person on our team. I'm still working on it....

The Chameleon: Switching my mind-set between work and home is another skill that I'm slowly learning. Making sure that my brain is good to go by 9am for work is trickier after a 5:30am wake up/nappy change/prepare breakfast and get yourself to work combo. The flip side of this is that I do find it easier to switch work off from work once I leave for the day. Trying to read emails and focus on work while feeding someone or giving someone a bath isn't something that I would recommend.

It will never be perfect: I'm pretty much convinced that no matter how much time I committed to both my job and my family, I'd feel like I could have done more on both fronts. I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that I'm not perfect and that finding a way to balance family time with work is always going to be a challenge. Trying to achieve the perfect mix of both is aiming to high. All I can do is give both fatherhood and my career my best shot and hopefully the results will be something that I can be proud of.

In case you haven't guessed it yet, there is an unsung hero in this story. It's my wife. Before our kids arrived, my wife had a fantastic job and had built an amazing career for herself. Without a single complaint she has put her career on hold to be the CEO of our household, a job that pays far less yet asks so much more than any other job that I know of.