Can You Decide?

Decisions are funny things. I listen to people a lot. Sometimes that includes listening to myself. Was that a decision or just an expression of a wish?

We talk about setting goals and commitment and going for it and not letting anything get in our way, and all those other wonderfully inspiring phrases. But seriously, how real is any of it?

For anything to happen, a decision must be made. Without a decision, there will be no genuine action and little if any results.

Let’s take, for example, the good old New Year Resolution. You tell yourself and others that you are going to get fit and drop 10kg. Three months later, you are off track, you have not lost any weight and you are certainly not fit. “What happened”, someone may well ask. You give all your explanations until they are satisfied with the reason.

But there is only one genuine and completely honest answer. You didn’t decide.

I work with people a lot who actually realise that for something to change, they need to make a decision. If they do not make it, the change doesn’t happen.

The following variety of things get said to me:

• “It’s a busy at present and it just isn’t a good time.”
• “I have to wait till things improve at work so that I can ask for the time.”
• “My husband would never support that.”
• “I’ll have to wait and see how the finances go.”
• “I can’t leave now I am needed.”
• “Perhaps when I can get some other things sorted.”

All of these are evidence of a person placing themselves totally at the effect of their own universe. Not a good formula for success. Imagine Kurt Fearnley saying, “Gee, I’d love to be good at Marathons, but I am a paraplegic.” Kurt won 2 Olympic Gold Medals in the Wheelchair Marathon and crawled the Kokoda Track.

Consider the following scenario:

You are 24 and have a good job. For about a year now you have had a fascination for India and keep finding ways to stumble across things about India that interest you. You start thinking about going there. As time goes by, this builds within you till one day, you walk around a corner and stumble across a fabulous display on the street showcasing Indian Tourism and ancient sites. You are mesmerized. You don’t know why, but you can’t stop looking at it. That night, you have a vivid and exciting dream about India, and wake up knowing you have to go.

You get up and get ready for work and call your parents and tell them you are seriously considering going to India. Your Dad responds with, “Well son, that is a great idea, but you have a good job. Why not put it on hold, keep working and saving your leave, then in a few years, you can take a good amount of leave and still have the security of a good job to come back to”. You think about that.

Then mum gets on the phone and says that she is excited for you but also worried about some of the unrest she has read about in India and would be worried about you if you were over there. You think about that too.

Then through the day, some people are supportive, and others give you their best advice on why it might not be a good thing to do right now. Then finally your boss tells you that a job cannot be held open for you and that you will have to resign.

At the end of the day, you abandon the desire to go to India and commit to staying put. For the next couple of weeks you are not yourself, a bit irritable and feeling annoyed. Why? You let your universe decide on your behalf. In other words, you didn’t decide.

So, let’s roll it back to when you wake after your dream. This time, you get out of bed, turn on your computer and log on to Expedia. You find flights that suit, book them and pay. Next, you book a week at a backpacker’s hostel in Mumbai to get your trip started. Finally, you open your emails and send a letter of resignation to your boss. Now, you are committed.

Next you ring your Mum and Dad and let them know you have booked your trip and paid for it, that you have resigned from work and you leave on the 16th. Now, your parents are in a position where they must respond to you. All they can do is perhaps utter their reservations and then give their blessing.

Once you have made the decision, your mind will be clear. Thins will begin to appear to support your progress that you could never have anticipated. This is the magic of a decision. And this is the magic of great creators, people of success. They are very good deciders.

I don’t want to go on and wax lyrical about the profound benefits or outcomes of clear decisions. Go look and your will find them.

I have a daughter who, from a very young age, probably 4 or 5, is an incredible decider. When she was little, she would decide what she wanted to do, and I would watch as her mum tried to oppose it. I used to say, “Stand back and enjoy the show. If you try to stop her you are gonna get hurt.” This is a kid who got her homework complete the night it was given. She creates great things in the world. Once she decides, you know it will happen.

There are lots of kids like this. They have strong will and they make clear decisions. But their parents and teachers oppose them and break their spirit. I always felt it better to allow kids to be the master of their own course, and to be there beside them to protect them, give advice when it is asked for and to offer encouragement. They have to learn to live their own life, and this includes experiencing their own mistakes.

I know it in myself. When I truly decide, I create. When I have not decided, things don’t manifest and my motivation dies.

For those of you who may not be great at making strong decisions, there is a path that can be followed to learn how to start with a stated goal and work it through till it becomes a clear and final decision.

You can see it in all manner of life endeavours. What a sporting contest and see if you can pick which competitor or team has decided that they are going to win. 

We are once again approaching New Year’s Eve. Are you going to create a few New Year resolutions and turn them into powerful decisions, or are you just going to throw some wishful thinking out into the ether?

See, once you have decided, you are committed. There is no going back.

Consider the following writing from W.N. Murray of the 1951 Scottish Himalayan Expedition

 Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all facts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans; that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would otherwise never have occurred. A whole stream of events issue from that decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would come his way. I have learned a deep respect for Goethe’s couplets:

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can … begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it”.

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