Can you change your story?

Well - I did !

The STATE you are in is a result of your STORY.

Whether you take responsibility for it or not is another 'story'.

When you believe that someone or something else has POWER over you, you don't make an effort to change it. You wait for IT to change.

But no one else has Power over you EXCEPT the Power that YOU give them.

What if you had known that you have to power to write your own story?

I am going to tell you about the physical & emotional habits and behaviours I changed in order to change my story and state from negative to positive a few years ago. Some are generic, some are personality dependent. Its good to take stock once in a while and reflect on these. Now there is a new List on what I do to maintain my energy and increase my capacity to receive- I will post that soon.

I had FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out for the uninitiated). I wanted to do everything and be everywhere. I wanted to be a great mom, wife, daughter, daughter in law, socialise extensively, meet friends, spend time with my parents, travel, go to the gym, please everyone, sleep 8 hours, meditate and have a thriving career, all in 24 hours. I was living in LALA land. My partner had to wake me up and sit me down. YOU CANNOT do all this in 24 hours. You need to kick FOMO (Fear of Missing out) OUT and bring JOMO (Joy of Missing out) IN. Not everyone has your talent and drive and purpose. If you are choosing to miss parties - what could be a better reason than for YOUR PURPOSE??

One thing that really helped me, is FOCUS and PRIORITISATION.

I CHOSE to CUT OUT what others wanted me or expected me to do become the best version of myself and live a life that resonates with my calling. The rest was easy.

What I stopped doing

§  I started saying No to unnecessary social meets where I felt conversation would be superficial or negative.

§  Stopped watching TV almost entirely, at the most 1-2 hours a week, mostly on the weekend. I sure didn't waste a single minute watching Arnab or his friends. Just couldn't!! 

§  Deleted Facebook and Instagram and all games from my phone. Those days I didn't use Social Media, Social Media used me.

§  Gave up the DESIRE to attend every interesting event happening in town. Anyway we were not able to go to many of these, because you cant really enjoy them with the kids, but the desire to go used to trouble me. After I refocused my energies, that desire stopped troubling me. I loved the feeling of using that time working and creating the life I want for myself.

§  I planned my day my way – I realised I was being available for people as per their schedule. I took a hard look at the way I spent my time. I planned ahead and made my schedule accounting for my needs & family needs. I started keeping daily/weekly/monthly calendars. Again this was feedback from hubby – that I wasn’t organised enough– It wasn’t easy to hear or accept – but it was true – Paid heed to it – and it made me a lot more effective. I was usually on top of things and hence was happier too. I was used to being organised at work, but at home I had neglected doing that. Again my partner, knowing my dislike for domestic tasks, suggested - “Put systems in place at home – run the house like you would run your company – delegate your tasks – have your checklists. You will have far more time to spare.” I do thank him now. (Many people are inherently very organised – I wasn’t one of those – so it was a big and necessary change for me)

§  I completely stopped participating in any negative talk and unnecessary arguments with anyone. I just politely left the conversation. 

What I started / continued doing

§  Going to the gym 

§  Eating healthy and nutritious food

§  Made a vision board – focusing on what I want (vis a vis what I don’t want)

§  Meditating, Chanting & Sudarshan Kriya (breathing exercise taught in the Art of Living courses)

§  Girls Nights with my sisters - these nights are awesome and therapeutic ..always mandatory - but they happen once a quarter !! :)

§  Changed the kids routine to ensure they were in bed by 9.30 pm so I got a couple of hours after they slept

§  Reading Reading Reading

§  Watching great learning videos.

§  I started doing things I enjoyed doing, (which I was putting off for god knows when) - dancing, keyboard, learning Sanskrit, some art and craft stuff etc. Was so fulfilling and so much fun!

Emotional habits I changed

§  Stopped(well almost) justifying myself & my actions to people

§ Stopped overuse/abuse of the word "Sorry". 

§  Took complete responsibility for my life – stopped blaming anyone/anything

§  Forgave all those who were occupying unfavourable space in my mind. This I did for my own peace of mind. A resentful mind never takes you far ahead. Your mind may need repeated reminders. Thats ok! :)

§  Started saying yes to things that set my soul on fire

§  Putting myself first – this meant loving and caring for myself the way I did for others

§  Raised my standards of how i want to be treated. And educated people around me on the revised standards. 

§  Put self-care first – you can't pour from an empty cup!

§  Practised gratitude

§  Placed high value on my peace of mind and my time. 

All these got me enough momentum to get to tipping point. 

Hope they serve as good introspection for you too. You can take stock of the behaviours that are serving you and those that are stopping you from crushing it in life!!

Or if you as an independent woman want to reclaim your life and actually change your state of affairs from within, grab that pen, trust me, you can Rewrite Your Story too..

Register now for a 5-day FREE workshop 16th to 20th February,

9.00 PM IST / 10.30 AM EST to take charge of your life and Re-write your story. 

Loads of love

Coach Alpa Teli