Can you believe that?!

“I knew that was going to happen” says the person who feels like they are not in control.

If you knew that was going to happen, why didn't you do something about it before it happened? You keep saying that over and over about all the things that are happening in your life that go wrong..

Everyone knows a person that complains about how things are just terrible but they are not willing to come up with solutions. They seem to be very good at identifying the problems. After all, they just have bad luck. They married the wrong person again for the third time. They partnered up with the wrong person again for the 5th time and they keep getting taken advantage of.

Do these people just have bad luck? Are they the unfortunate ones that life keeps handing them a bag of lemons? Why do these people keep getting sick? Why do bad things keep happening to them? Why is there never enough money, health or happiness?

When I look at a problem with a piece of software that I am developing, I know I am in control of the problem. I can solve it with better code. When I hit a roadblock, I don't give up, I find a solution to the problem because it's all about the code. I'm not gonna complain that I have bad luck and the software just can't do that. I can create anything my imagination wants to create virtually. I just need to figure out a good way to make it happen.

Once I figure out how to make it happen using code, I need to reprogram the software to do that for me. Otherwise the software will keep doing what it was programmed to do. It won't just change because I have a good intention or I am aware of the problem.

I believe that we are all programmed to think a certain way, to react to certain situations with very specific emotions.

I believe that we are all programmed to think a certain way, to react to certain situations with very specific emotions. Most of us don't know we are programed and we just life our lives with the default programing for decades. For many people it works out fine because the programming is good enough. For some people, they are literally suffering because the programming drags them down.

They are programed to be helpless, to rely on luck, to blame and complain. Nothing you can tell them will change their programming, only they can access that programming. After all they are being “realistic”, their programed reality is their only option.

We need programing to function as humans. Otherwise we would need to rely on our limited RAM to deal with every situation and we would be exhausted and not be effective. The key is to become aware that everything we do in our life is based on our operating system and if we want to improve any situation that we are in, If we want to change in any way shape or form, all we need to do is tune up our system.

There are three steps to doing this tune up and most of the time we need help from a professional coach or third party to help us see our blindspots.

The first step is awareness. We need to realize that every opinion, reason, complaint, judgement, tendency is all part of the programing. We need to literally become aware of what our programing is. What are we dealing with here. When you look at really good software code from a thoughtful engineer, you find that they add comments, explaining what the code is for. In our operating system, we need to go in and identify what the code is and why its there.

We need to ask ourselves if this is helping or hurting the system we want to create.

Step two is we need to question everything. We need to ask ourselves if this is helping or hurting the system we want to create. If the code is good, great! Leave it there and maybe add a few lines of comment to notate why its good and why it should not be messed with. If the code you find is bad, oh boy. You need to do something about it but don't take action yet. Just comment, and note that you want to change this. That is the second crucial step. It's not about  about changing it yet, because it might break things. You need to inspect the full software product and understand it before you start making changes. Otherwise you might mess up the software and the people around you might be affected in ways that will disrupt your business.

The last step is to create a plan. You need to sit down and decide what you will be doing about the things that you want to upgrade. What it will impact and how you will deal with those changes. This is serious stuff, it's your life and the life of the people around you. Once you have a clear plan and action items associated with that plan, along with a compelling reason that you want to change. That will fuel you into action.

Action is not a separate step, it's everything. If you don't do, you do not become.

They say, you only get one chance to life this life, so don't mess it up.

There is no way to mess it up! You can just make choices that will impact you in the now and in the future. Go ahead, tinker with life and the next time something happens to you that makes you frown, gets you frustrated or sad, don’t freak out.. Celebrate! .

Why? Because when you find a bug in the system, pull out the champagne because you are that much closer to having the ideal software that will help you accomplish your dreams.

What belief do you have right now, that if you change, will change your entire life? Go ahead and post a comment..  I would love to hear from you. 

BIO: Joe Apfelbaum is the CEO and co-founder of digital marketing agencyAjax Union. He is a public speaker, certified Google Trainer, and published business author. Joe enjoys speaking and writing about a broad range of business topics in his seminars, webinars and articles. Joe is a member of the Board of Directors of the Entrepreneurs Organization in Brooklyn, a group with over 11,000 CEO’s and a contributing member of the INC Business Owners Council, a community of the fastest growing companies in the United States. Joe is proud of all his accomplishments, but most of all he is proud of his successfulfoodie wife and beautiful four kids.