Can you accept a compliment?

Today I'm sharing a few thoughts and tips on positive feedback and compliments.

We often hear the word feedback and it makes us shut down. We know what's coming. This is going to be difficult. It's going be some sort of criticism.

Instead, what if it was positive feedback?? A focus on the good stuff rather than the areas of improvement all the time?

Wouldn’t that feel better!

Let’s spend some time talking about what's going well, what we see in people as their strengths, compliment them on a job well done.? How much better would we feel about ourselves?

This might take a bit of getting used though.? When people say nice, positive things about us it can make us feel uncomfortable. We tend to brush off compliments. It can feel a bit embarrassing.

Contrast this with how easily we get hung up when somebody makes some sort of careless, maybe almost throwaway, negative comment. It can have a detrimental effect on our entire day.

We can really take it to heart, and it can ruin our mood and make us ruminate on it for hours afterwards.

Positive feedback makes us feel happier and more successful in our work, especially when it plays to our strengths. And it's so hard to be continually working on those areas for improvement all the time isn’t it! Recognising and understanding our own natural talents means that we can use them to our full advantage.

If you remember how as a child, you got gold stars at school and how happy we were to receive positive feedback and validation in this way.

We tend to reinforce lots of positives to our children, but as we grow up into adulthood we receive fewer ‘gold stars’.?

Here are a couple of ideas for reinforcing the positives (and replacing the gold star!)

Firstly, if somebody compliments you - it might be a congratulations for a job well done, or a simple compliment about your outfit or for the fantastic presentation that you gave - acknowledge it with thanks.

Say “thank you” then let yourself absorb it for a moment.

It might be very small or maybe a big and significant thing.

But instead of just brushing it off appreciate it, appreciate yourself.

Another idea is to ask your colleagues to describe you at your best? ?What did they say?

Now, I know it's going to feel very cringey but everybody who's done it tells me it was great to hear that positive feedback, and that it made them feel really good.

So go on - ask that question today!

My final idea for now is to write down those compliments that you get as they come along. Maybe add that description of you at your best. So that when you need a little boost, go back and read through the compliments and that lovely description of you at your best.

Sometimes when times are particularly challenging, and we've got that feeling of imposter syndrome and not being good enough, you can remind yourself of all those things that you are good at.

We all have lots of different strengths. Using these practical tips will help you through those difficult days when we need reminding that we are great at what we do and that other people admire lots of things about us.

As always, I hope it’s been helpful for you.

And I will be launching a group programme to support women leaders with their mental load in due course, keep your eyes peeled for more details.

And if you’d like more individual help with this please do get in touch, just drop me a DM and we can arrange a chat.

You can read more of my practical tips and musings on women and our self-development on my website.?

I’m always happy to chat about the work I do to help more women become senior leaders, so do get in touch by sending me a DM.

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