Can They Or Won't They?
Peter Rosenberger
"Family caregiver in crisis? With 4 decades of experience through a medical nightmare, I'll point you to safety where you can catch your breath, regroup, and forge a healthier path for YOU!"
From: A MINUTE FOR CAREGIVERS - When Every Day Feels Like Monday
“If only my mother would . . .”
Substitute the word “mother” with father, child, spouse, etc. That phrase rises to one of the most common laments uttered by family caregivers around the globe.
Is the undesired behavior intentional?
Caregivers admit that determining if a loved one “can’t do something” and “won’t do something” often remains a gray area.
How gray is that area? Charcoal gray.
Regardless, “can’t or won’t” still leaves caregivers with the challenge of accepting reality versus what we desire. Recognizing the powerlessness to change an
impairment or a willful behavior remains a bitter pill for caregivers to swallow. Although counter-intuitive, the path through this frustration comes not from achieving a desired change in our loved ones but rather a change in ourselves. When our peace of mind remains attached to someone else’s actions, we become hostages to their conduct. Yet our freedom remains exclusively in our own hands—and hearts.
Even if their poor behavior results in unpleasant consequences for our loved ones (and sometimes us), we are not required to be miserable while caring for them.
I don’t look for bliss, just contentment.
—Alison Krauss
#Caregivers
#caregiving