Can we truly be our authentic selves?
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Can we truly be our authentic selves?

Whether at work or in social settings, more humans are bent on being their authentic selves. This has caused some challenges and problems for them and their fellow humans. This made me wonder, can we truly be our authentic selves? I argue that we can- if we don’t mind giving up some of our wants and desires and not being afraid of experiencing some discomfort. I also suggest that we do a lot of work for ourselves and others.

We can be our authentic selves if…

  1. We examine closely what it means to be authentic. Think about who you are when no one is watching. Is that what being authentic means to you? Who are you when you are with your closest friends? These are fellow humans who are in your innermost circle. They know who you are in your best and worst moments. Is this what being authentic means to you? Do you want to bring this version of you into the workplace? In all interactions with fellow humans?
  2. We are committed to allowing others to be their authentic selves. Of course, your conscious mind tells you to say you are 100% supportive of others being their authentic selves. It is easy to judge ourselves based on our conscious thoughts and actions. However, the research on unconscious bias suggests otherwise. We know that our unconscious bias takes over, especially when we feel fear, pain, or general discomfort of the unknown.
  3. We are committed to making our collective well-being a top priority. This sounds incredibly honourable and selfless. Sadly, as a species, we have a long way to go before we can harness this collective commitment to each other. The good news is that we are building critical mass awareness of the needs, wants, and desires of others. Collectively, as humans, we are beginning to see past our noses. We have started to see other beings who, just like us, want nothing more than to be their authentic selves. This requires a lot of work on our part. No one escapes doing this work!

Actions to be as authentic?as possible:

1.????? Cultivate a mindset that sees the whole view. This means each person must learn about themselves while learning about fellow humans they would typically not have any interaction with.?

2.????? Keep talking about messy topics. Yes, some people interpret your and my desire to be authentic as messy topics. Use what you learned about yourself and fellow humans to keep talking mindfully with each other.

3.????? Embrace the reality of what is. Our need to be authentic will be impacted by the reality of where you are, with whom you want to be authentic and the overall support available. Not everyone is ‘there’ yet. You will experience resistance. Be realistic about what you are working towards. Do this work in a way that attracts others to join and work alongside you.

4.????? Accept that we only experience pain and hurt when our thoughts, beliefs, biases, prejudices and general perceptions are destructive to us and others.

5.????? Accept that to remove pain and hurt, we must create thoughts, beliefs, and general perceptions that are constructive to our well-being and those of others.

Practising these five actions will take us closer to a state of collective authenticity.

Ayesha Adhami-Magueta, BA (she, her) Linda Espinosa Valencia Stacye Thrasher Brim, PMP, LSSGB Kimberley Levasseur Puhach, CPHR Jordan Friesen Ana Maria Desmaison Cornejo Andrea Aiello Andrea Ladouceur Rhonda Taylor Anna McGregor Olsen Jarvis Allison Kirkland

Linda Espinosa Valencia

Co-Founder of Ventura Collective | DISM Certified - ISO 30415:2021 | Standards Council of Canada Member MC/ISO/TC 260 | Equity, Diversity & Inclusion Consultant | Facilitator | Speaker | Coach

6 个月

Thank you for this article Phyllis Reid-Jarvis, MPH, PCC, MBTI, Instructor, it made me thing about how being your authentic self is a privilege, who is not only allowed but celebrated when displaying their authentic self and who is othered and ostracized. What unspoken "rules" people who belong to equity-due community we must learn and follow to be able to advance. Unfortunately being your authentic self is considered a revolutionary act especially when pushing against a binary society steeped in wyte suprem*cy. In my personal experience I work really hard to be my authentic self to myself first, learning and knowing who I am within to then decide who gets to see this, I chose the safer spaces and community is one of them. Thank you again for this insightful article.

Ayesha Adhami-Magueta, BA (she, her)

Supporting Your Purposeful Path | Build Authentic and Values-Aligned Workplace Culture and Community | Purposeful Communication | Individual and Business Coaching | Reclaim Your Voice and Life | Social Justice Advocacy |

6 个月

Phyllis Reid-Jarvis, MPH, PCC, MBTI, Instructor, I love what you have shared here as a primer for being and engaging authentically with ourselves and others. An excellent place to start for those who want to do this work and to consider what they might encounter on this journey. I would offer also, the importance of self-care in recognizing and creating our own safety to be authentic, self-validation when dealing with difficult or conflicting emotions and perspectives (internal/external), and giving ourselves time and grace to process and work through things. Allowing people to be their authentic selves, for example, may mean our relationships will change, drawing us closer or further...or leaving us in a state of flux. Choosing this path is not an easy one as you say, but it is worth the quality of our lives and the increased fortitude of our character and impact. Much love and gratitude for you, dear Phyllis and your continuous work for a better, kinder and more equitable world. ???? ??

Olsen Jarvis

Chronic Disease Management Clinician Respiratory Chronic Disease Focus at Winnipeg Regional Health Authority (WRHA)

6 个月

I like this approach. It sounds like being authentic is a mindful process. Not just for what we want to be but also the affect being authentic will have on our environment and the feedback we may get from our environment. Cool!

Andrea Aiello

Workforce Development Strategist | Community Builder I Manufacturing Collaborator

6 个月

Oh Phyllis, you have my wheels turning on this one! Love it! My first thoughts go to those situations where individuals can relax or escape into the fact that work can be separate from the rest of their lives. And so work enables a person to be a freer version than what they might be experiencing elsewhere. For those who are intensely private, grieving, wrestling, hurt or even abused, the ability to keep that away from work may be exactly what allows them to be another version of themself professionally. And maybe experiencing that in one area of their life helps them find it in others... My other thought is my own see-sawing on the whole concept of whether or not it is healthy to consider your workplace like "family". If you land in the yes camp then you'll be all in on the authenticity piece. If you've been fired by a place that felt like family, you'd say don't overshare and stay guarded. I'm following for the comments of others! Great topic.

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