Can We Trick Our Minds for Good?

As a coach, I had worked with a team member struggling to achieve a personal milestone in her job. She had received feedback from her superiors that she wasn't being proactive enough, and she was eager to get back on track and so sought my help. At the start of the conversation, I could see she wanted some practical advice quickly with regard to managing her work. But I did not want to simply give her a to-do list or advice; instead, I wanted to explore the underlying mindset that was holding her back.

As she talked, she revealed a surprising insight. Before joining the public sector, friends had warned her that the bureaucracy can be overwhelming, and it's not worth trying to change things. And she had carried this emotional baggage with her since the day she stepped into the doors of the organisation - clearly this mindset and had been affecting her. My question back to her was: how often do we let these limiting beliefs to shape our behaviors? And can we actually "trick" our minds into doing something good for ourselves?

In John Muldoon's insightful TED Talk, "Being Your Own Life Coach", he shares three valuable tips on how he effectively managed his emotions as a leader.

1. Identify and name your emotions: This involves developing self-awareness and understanding what you are feeling in a given moment.

2. Source the emotions and understand why you're feeling them: This involves introspection and self-reflection, helping you to understand the root causes of your emotions and how they impact your behavior and decision-making.

3. Overwrite old patterns with new ones: This requires a willingness to challenge negative thought patterns and replace them with positive, constructive ones.

This process of self-coaching can be a game-changer, enabling individuals to take control of their emotional lives and make meaningful changes. By becoming more aware of our thoughts and emotions, we can begin to shift our mindset and unlock new possibilities. Muldoon called this 'tricking our minds'.

Once my team member saw the mental block and the emotional baggage in her attitude and thinking, she actually came up with ways on her own to be more proactive in her current situation. More importantly, she saw what gaps she had to address going forward, in terms of the skill sets she had to mastered, and set out a plan to address that. Dealing with the present often requires us to address limiting beliefs of the past, in order for us to move ahead into the future. I was really proud when she got past that point. Whether she would reach that personal milestone is up to her, but she can now see that the journey to success is in her hands.

In the Asian working context, and definitely in the public sector organisations I have worked in, reasoning often trumps emotions, which are often not talked about as much as they should be. Emotions are like invisible oxygen, surrounding us even when we do not see it. If we are not mindful, a single spark can ignite an unwanted explosion. But with awareness, we can harness emotions to fuel passion and creativity, sparking innovation and progress within the team.

As leaders, we therefore need to be self-aware of our emotions and how they, consciously or unconsciously, affect the people around us.? Self-coaching is a tool that we can utilize to better manage ourselves and help coach our team members. By being more aware of our own thoughts and emotions, we can provide more effective guidance and support, create a safe and encouraging environment for growth and development. So, what emotional signposts can you set up for yourself and your team through greater self-awareness, and how can you use self-coaching to harness the power of emotions to encourage growth and development?

https://youtu.be/vLFxOOEyhUE?si=FUgJM0iKOKEKRblK