Can We Normalize Growing Pains?

What does it mean to ‘suck’…

In my own words, it’s being so bad at something to the point of it being embarrassing.

Quick story:

Two weeks ago, I started going to the gym. The normal response I got in the past was why would a woman weighing less than 60kg struggle with the gym buddies?? But you see, my rationale was to build stamina and correct my sedentary-induced posture.

On my first day, I felt very out of place, struggling with machines, tripping on the treadmill, and questioning my fit-fam decision. But guess what? At the end of the week, I was doing reps with 25kg weights and my confidence was topping the charts!

This might be an early testimony as I still need to learn consistency, but the point is clear… I got better with time and practice!

This example is not new to you…

Think about the first time you:

• Resumed a new office
• Designed or built something
• Wrote an article
• Shot a YouTube video
• Made a presentation
• Spoke in public

No matter how cool you thought it was back then, odds are if you look back today you’ll either squeeze your face or wonder what in the world you were thinking!

But can we normalize being bad at things??

This is because the problem is not with being bad, the problem is with staying bad.

But before we dip that... Why do people bother so much about initial suckiness?

• You want to look cool too early
• You criticize other people in similar conditions
• You think the statement “experience is the best teacher” is cliche
• You do not have enough motivation to ride the waves
• You are seeking a perfect excuse to avoid growth
• You lack the patience and persistence to push through learning obstacles
• You secretly cherish laziness

As humans though, it is tough to accept a weak narrative for avoidance, so we choose to ignore it all together.

Let's look at some consequences of fearing initial suckiness:

• You procrastinate, choosing comfort in stagnancy
• You miss the rewards of public growth and acknowledgment
• You miss the opportunity to teach learned experiences
• You become more risk averse, which can easily domino into other aspects of your life
• You lead a rather predictable life with no plot twists.

Most of us aren’t entitled to growth, we have to work for it. Most of us aren’t born geniuses, we have to grow into it.

Growth comes with growing pains. The next time you feel weird about initial ‘suckiness’, think about a toddler learning how to walk. Imagine if he was scared of falling and decided to never walk.

The last example I’ll give today will also be an assignment. Do research on all your favourite brands; Google, Apple, Microsoft, Nike, Cocacola. Check out their evolution, and read through their stories and lessons. You'll quickly realize why they remain relevant today. Not because they had it all figured out, but because of their unusual commitment to incremental progress even in their 'awkward' phases.

Thanks for reading this article!

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Keep Growing and Exploring!

Joke Shalom Akintara

Growth Product Manager | Curator of "Growth Notes"