Can We Just Get Along?

On March 3, 1991, Rodney King led numerous California police officers on a high-speed chase after the California Highway Patrol attempted to stop him for excessive speed. King was ordered out of the car by CHP officers and then LAPD officers intervened and took over the arrest. King was able to rise to his feet as the officers tried to pin him to the ground.  A portion of the interaction showing the LAPD officers striking King repeatedly with their batons was captured by an amateur videographer. The public and professionals in the law enforcement community were outraged and the four involved LAPD officers were charged with a number of crimes based upon their use of force. Following a three-month jury trial, the officers were acquitted in late April 1992. The acquittal sparked days of rioting in LA that resulted in over 50 deaths and over 2000 injured people. On May 1, 1992 in the midst of those brutal, riots Rodney King made a television appearance pleading for an end to the violence. As he looked into the cameras, King said, “I just want to say- you know- can we all get along? Can we, can we get along? Can we stop making it horrible for the older people and the kids?” 

I believe Rodney King asked the most profound question of our time. And nearly thirty years later we are still trying to figure out if we can get along. As I look back over the summer of 2020 and the first weeks of 2021 it is clear that we have not figured out how to get along. Given that we are all human beings and all Americans it seems that we have much more in common than we are different. We all want jobs, family, financial security, freedom to practice our religion, freedom to express ourselves, and a myriad of other benefits provided by being an American citizen. We just can’t agree on how to get there. But then again it has always been like that in America. We have never totally agreed on how to get there and that diversity of opinion has been one of the strengths of this great nation. 

As leaders we are responsible for making sure that our teams get along so the individuals can be effective team members and the team can be a positive force in the organization. I believe that as leaders we also have a responsibility outside our organizations to help our larger society figure out how to get along. So how can we get along given our differences? First, we need to focus on the things that we all agree upon and there are many. They have gotten lost in the hateful rhetoric of the extreme groups in this country. Second, we need to remember that it is ok to agree to disagree and third we need to follow the process. I want to focus on the last two because if we dig down a little deeper and put our egos in our back pockets it is pretty easy to find the areas that we agree upon.

As a young police officer, I never quite understood how the Prosecutors and the top-notch defense attorneys could walk to a local tavern across the street from the courthouse after a long day in trial and have a beer together. Shouldn’t they hate each other? They represent different sides and were very critical of each other during the day’s proceedings. As a first-year law student some years later, I found the secret. Attorney’s learn early in their career that it is ok to agree to disagree. I don’t have to hate you if I disagree with your point of view. I can still respect you as a person and a professional. And, we might even have a beer together. The law school experience trains this early on by giving you a position to defend in writing or oral argument that may be very contrary to your personal views on the world. You learn to focus on the issues and not the people. So, you can argue to the death but still respect the other person. No need for hateful rhetoric or violence. 

Our society and our government are built on process. Human beings strive for equilibrium and the processes imbedded in our social organizations, employers, and government provide that consistency so that we don’t have to experience the stress of change. So, another way to help us figure out a way to get along is to ensure that we follow the processes that exist.

That is heresy to some because they argue that the process doesn’t work for everyone or the process is too slow. There are kernels of truth in both statements. The process can’t work for everyone because there are too many variables to consider. The process is designed to serve as many people as it possibly can considering the multitude of variables. That is why we have to ensure there are exceptions to the process and a framework that allows the process to change when it no longer serves the greater good.

The process is slow. It is built that way. Imagine a world where anyone in power could walk in and change your entire way of life. None of us would be happy in that environment. The process can be cumbersome but that is so the changes are gradual and hopefully well thought out to serve the greater good instead of one individual or a small group of people.

It amazes me that much of our citizenry is ignorant to the basic structure of our system of government, the rule of law, the criminal justice system, the electoral system, the electoral college and many other well-established processes that have kept this country focused on serving the greater good. As leaders we are responsible for helping folks understand those processes and need to put some of our energy there.

Those that operate on the extremes on either side are never focused on serving the greater good. They are angry with the people that carry out the process and make it personal when they ignore the fact that these individuals are duty bound to carry out these well-established processes. They are not willing to engage in legitimate dialogue to change the process; they settle for name calling and violence, neither of which will result in change.

Can we just get along? I believe we can and in order to succeed we need leaders to step up and lead by example by being kinder to each other. Leaders must help others learn to focus on the areas where we are more alike than different. We must help people understand that it is ok to agree to disagree by modeling that behavior. Leaders must help their team members understand the value of the process and how it actually works.  In the spirit of continuous improvement leaders are obligated to work with their teams to understand if processes are effective. When leaders find processes that no longer focus on serving the greater good, they are further obligated to follow the established protocol to change those ineffective processes. 

Hatred, name calling and violence have no place in our society and will never result in the desired change. There is no substitute for treating people with dignity and respect while engaging in meaningful discourse. That approach can change the world!