“Can” vs “Will Most Likely”
Richard Rossi
Co-Founder, Envision EMI. Founder, The daVinci Alliance. Founder, The daVinci50 Mastermind
Have you ever read Regrets of the Dying? If you haven’t, it’s great.
One of the regrets that comes up a lot with the subjects in the book is not being brave enough, not being fearless enough, not having enough courage to actually do what was in their heart, what they believed was their greatest aspiration in life. They were afraid, and as you know, one of the most important parts of being successful is overcoming fear. Overcoming lack of self-doubt and lack of self-confidence. That's so easy to say.
The real question of course is how exactly to I do this? When I read the book, I remembered a technique used by a Japanese billionaire-businessman. I think it’s a great idea because this is all a mind game, right? One person thinks something is fearful the other person doesn't think it is at all.
The idea is to think about the difference between the worst that could happen and the worst that will most likely or probably happen.
Take crossing the street. There's a lot of potential dangers in crossing the street. I mean, people are driving these huge death machines and all they have to do is hit the accelerator at the wrong time, while you're in front of them, and you're finished. Anything could happen. But you and I both know that while that's theoretically possible, in all likelihood it's not going to happen. We just know and that's why we feel safe crossing the street at the appropriate time.
Another example: I’m offered a chance to do stand up comedy but I’m afraid. I make a list of all the reasons I’m afraid… People could laugh at me, not with me, I might be really bad at standup, so on and so forth. And for each reason, I decide if it is the worst that could happen or the worst that in all likelihood would happen.
When you make that list, all of a sudden things don't seem as scary anymore. You can use this in almost any situation.
Of course, it works in the negative too. If you’re thinking, “Maybe I should do some sort of crazy extreme sport.” Then write down what's the worst that can happen and the worst that most likely will happen. If 18 people died doing the sport last month, then the worst that could happen is pretty bad and the worst that most likely will happen is actually also pretty bad!
You will be absolutely amazed by the number of times that, when you make this list, you come to the realization that the worst to probably happen really isn’t that bad. Even if all those things happen you think, “To hell with it! I'm going to do it anyway because even those things will probably not happen!”
When you feel fear or doubt, when you need courage to do something, sit down and make that list. Take the thing you are afraid of, then all the reasons why. And for reach reason decide, “Is this the worst that could happen or is this really likely to happen? And if not what is likely to happen.”
You'll be amazed that this has this incredible impact on your ability to be brave and do things that you could not otherwise do. It's all just fooling your mind. Your mind is getting fooled into thinking something is very dangerous. By using this technique, you realise that it really isn't. Or maybe you realize that it really is and that you were right. You darn well better not do it!
Gut so often you'll discover, “I should be just moving forward here.” Then it's all about taking a deep breath and remembering that you never want to be that person who looks back with regret because you didn't do something because you were afraid.
Again, the worst that can happen versus the worst that will most likely happen.
Everything is a secret unless you know it. Now it's a secret that you know. Tell me some reaction when you try this and share a technique if you have a different one.
Have a great day.
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Thank you for reading
RR
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5 年Thanks, Richard! Previously I’ve explained this to myself and others as “evaluate the best or worst case scenario and if the worst isn’t that bad- go for it!” The main push back I get is that “best” won’t likely happen so after reading your post I’m going to shift it to worst and most likely to happen... I think this will give those with a more pessimistic/cautious outlook to be more open minded about this proposition/ perspective exercise. Enjoy the day!
Protecting Retirees’ Assets | Relationship Builder, Client Success, Financial Services
5 年Richard Rossi, right, easier said than done.? That said, fear and self-doubt can all be overcome with core desires such as feeling good, happiness, liberation.? Most people hope to reach these states as a result of attainment. It's the other way around. Can't wait to dive in.? #chasetheroar?
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5 年Richard Rossi you are spot on. I think most of us have something we want to be or do or achieve, but we let our own fears, negative self talk, etc., get in the way. If only we can get out of our own way, we would be more at peace. The key is finding the tools that work for you and then making them a practice.
Owner at MM SERVICES Micha? Mozo?a
5 年"The idea is to think about the difference between the worst that could happen and the worst that will most likely or probably happen."