Can Suri Cruise say Buh Bye to Tom?

"Pat does not want to see my ex, can he/she stop going? This might be my most frequently asked child custody or child visitation question.

In Jill Q. v. James R., N.Y.S.3d --- (Third Dept. 2020), a child met her father for the first time in 2016, when she was just 9 years old. Six months later, Mother and Father consented to shared joint legal custody with mother having primary physical custody and father having parenting time based on agreement with mother, subject to either party bringing a modification petition without having to demonstrate change in circumstances.

In April 2017, mother sought modification based on allegations that child expressed desire to stop visiting father and showed signs of physical and emotional distress relating to father’s parenting time. Father filed a petition for every other weekend and alleged mother was being unreasonably restrictive. Though child was excited to meet her father, her mental health progressively declined after each meeting as testified to by child's counselor that child suffered from adjustment disorder stemming from her difficulty in adjusting to this new relationship.

The New York Appellate Court of the Third Division held that Family Court erred in precluding counselor from testifying as to any statements made by child that formed basis for diagnosis of child. Matter remitted to Family Court to determine best interests of a child.

Here the testimony of the counselor supported that the child has a right to an arrangement different than the custody terms based on the best interests of the child. In general, if the claim is that the child does not wish to spend time with the other spouse, you would need concrete evidence. In dispute between ex spouses, judge is not interested in hearing just your side of the story.