Can Struggle Be Good? Do you want to fly?
Doni Landefeld, Ph.D.
We’re the go-to boutique coaching firm for leaders and teams who want to transform their performance and well-being so they authentically inspire, influence team members and amplify their organization’s bottom line.
Once a little boy was playing outdoors and found a fascinating caterpillar. He carefully picked it up and took it home to show his mother. He asked his mother if he could keep it, and she said he could if he would take good care of it.
The little boy got a large jar from his mother and put plants to eat, and a stick to climb on, in the jar. Every day he watched the caterpillar and brought it new plants to eat.
One day the caterpillar climbed up the stick and started acting strangely. The boy worriedly called his mother who came and understood that the caterpillar was creating a cocoon. The mother explained to the boy how the caterpillar was going to go through a metamorphosis and become a butterfly.
The little boy was thrilled to hear about the changes his caterpillar would go through. He watched every day, waiting for the butterfly to emerge. One day it happened, a small hole appeared in the cocoon and the butterfly started to struggle to come out.
At first the boy was excited, but soon he became concerned. The butterfly was struggling so hard to get out! It looked like it couldn’t break free! It looked desperate! It looked like it was making no progress!
The boy was so concerned he decided to help. He ran to get scissors, and then walked back (because he had learned not to run with scissors…). He snipped the cocoon to make the hole bigger and the butterfly quickly emerged!
As the butterfly came out the boy was surprised. It had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. He continued to watch the butterfly expecting that, at any moment, the wings would dry out, enlarge and expand to support the swollen body. He knew that in time the body would shrink and the butterfly’s wings would expand.
But neither happened!
The butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.
It never was able to fly…
As the boy tried to figure out what had gone wrong his mother took him to talk to a scientist from a local college. He learned that the butterfly was SUPPOSED to struggle. In fact, the butterfly’s struggle to push its way through the tiny opening of the cocoon pushes the fluid out of its body and into its wings. Without the struggle, the butterfly would never, ever fly. The boy’s good intentions hurt the butterfly.
These are especially challenging times and there may be more "struggle" than ever before. So how may you use the struggle to grow stronger wings? As you go through work, school, life and even the upside-down times we currently face, keep in mind that struggle is part of any growth experience. The struggle causes you to develop your ability to fly.
My passion is to give you stronger wings! - Doni Landefeld, Ph.D.
Leadership strategies to lead in an AI driven world ?? The catalyst for aligning executive teams with measurable impact to build ethical businesses for sustainable success ?? Inside Out Leadership | Author | Speaker
4 年A powerful story that reflects that struggle, challenging times and disruption are not a bad thing. we need them in order to evolve, to grow and become all we were meant to be. For without difficulties growth challenges, how would we know that we have transcended our younger selves other than the age number on our driver's license? We all need the space and the opportunity to be able to grow and become more! Great reminder Doni Landefeld, Ph.D.- Reinventing Authentic Leaders!
Go beyond the Hustle Hamster Wheel ????! I empower High Achieving Humans to Do less and be more ?? Redefine success without burnout to create a life of Ease, Flow, & Abundance! Coach ? Speaker ? Facilitator ? Consultant
4 年Wow... this hit home today for me in a big way. Helping others get through the struggle faster isn't actually serving them well. Holding space for them to go through it is sometimes all that we can do and it's their journey. Thank you for sharing!
CEO of RLD Group | I help tech companies banish burnout, navigate change & complexity with confidence, and lead with strengths.
4 年Amen Doni Landefeld, Ph.D.- Reinventing Authentic Leaders I often remember this analogy when the hard part feels impossible. Love this post and thanks for putting it out there!
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4 年Doni Landefeld, Ph.D.- Reinventing Authentic Leaders What a difficult balance to find and reminds me of parenting. We so desperately want to offer our kids every opportunity, every advantage, and eliminate burdens and struggles thinking this is best for them. Are we really just clipping the cocoon for the butterfly? It is so hard to watch those we love struggle and yet as your story shares, maybe the struggle is what they really need. Maybe this struggle is what the world really needs....
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4 年This is beautiful, Doni... and exquisitely sad, too... the human condition really is a lesson in leadership. The strongest leaders not only face adversity but recognize the lessons inherent - and then learn from them. The analogy of well-intentioned pushing butterflies into roles and responsibilities that they're not ready for is a powerful one for all leaders to hear. Thank you!