Can Storytelling Repair a Toxic Culture?

Greg was a newly promoted senior manager attending a leadership program. He was put on a team with five other newly promoted people and immediately began sizing them up. He made a point to demonstrate that he had more knowledge and experience in each interaction. He was quick to state his opinion and push for decisions without listening to others. He took charge of the team and told everyone what to do. When suggestions were made, Greg would interrupt the individual and roll his eyes.

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Greg’s teammates did what most people do with a toxic teammate: they ignored him. Words were carefully selected, and interactions were navigated on tiptoes to avoid uncomfortable moments. They didn’t like it, but they didn’t think he wanted anything different. No one wants to spend energy when a different outcome isn’t expected. There was an unspoken agreement to ignore his actions.

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On the third day, Greg sat silently after a difficult client interaction. Part of the simulation required them to conduct a client meeting. Greg had been confident in how they needed to approach it and took the lead. But he misread the situation and couldn’t recover in the role play. His mistake cost the team the lead, putting them in last place.

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Greg cleared his throat and quietly said, “I’m sorry. Not just for the client meeting but for the whole week. I came here with a chip on my shoulder. I felt like I should have been promoted two years ago. I have more years of experience than most. I figured that I knew the most out of everyone here. Instead of listening and getting to know you, I’ve dominated. I shouldn’t have done that. I was insecure and projected that on you. I’m sorry. If you give me a chance, I’d like to start over.”

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His voice broke as he spoke, He described feeling left behind throughout his career. It wasn’t until this experience that he realized he sucks the oxygen out of the room. My mouth fell open as I sat in the back of the room observing this group. The point of the training was to have people make mistakes in a safe setting so they could learn from them. I hoped that the participants would come away with new insights, but this moment was huge. This was the moment that his toxic behavior was smashed like an egg, and a new team emerged.

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TOXIC TEAM CULTURE

I dread the question, “How do I change a toxic culture on my team?” Most often, the person asking isn’t the one that caused it and can’t fix it. It’s like one partner of a couple wanting to go to therapy to fix the relationship. They may learn some helpful tools, but unless both are willing to work on things, a dead end is quickly reached.

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The leader has a key role in removing toxicity. They often create or contribute to it. The Academy of Management Journal says the worst kind of leader is the unpredictable leader. All the energy goes towards anticipating which version of the person will show up that day. You can’t just plan for the meeting; you must plan multiple scenarios for how to handle the meeting. It’s a huge depletion of energy that frequently leads to toxic environments and burnout.

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A toxic culture can’t be solved with one story. It requires defining the root of the toxic behaviors and what is being reinforced that causes harm. Further definition is needed for what is valued and should be reinforced. New habits can be formed to shape the desired culture. But most importantly, there needs to be interest in exploring a different way.

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HOW STORIES HELP

Stories can create space for this exploration. They expand thinking and create organizational oxygen, the way air between logs allows a fire to burn. They do this in three ways:

1. Vulnerability: Humans respond to vulnerability. It’s a moment of authenticity to which we can all relate. You can’t fake vulnerability. There isn’t anything to hide behind or manipulate. It sends an unspoken signal to the audience, “I trust you enough to share this with you.”
2. Empathy: As you listen to stories, you gain empathy for the storyteller. That empathy increases our trust in the storyteller and oxytocin is released in our bodies. Neuroscientist Paul Zak’s lab discovered this relationship. He describes the oxytocin release as a signal to our brain for who is safe to be around.
3. Decision Making: Stories connect us to our emotions and influence decision making. We love to think that we act based on data. We make decisions at a subconscious level based on our knowledge and experiences. At the point these become conscious thoughts, we apply rationalization and logic. Our actions and decisions are made because of our emotions, not logic. Stories trigger those emotional responses and choices.

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WHERE DO YOU START?

1. Create a habit of sharing stories about mistakes or lessons learned to help share group learning. Trust must be present in these moments or people won’t share for fear of blame. Leaders can role model this and send the signal that this is welcome and encouraged.
2. Share professional journeys. When I work with leadership teams, I always build in time for each person to share something in their personal or professional life that has impacted who they are today. This allows for vulnerability but also creates empathy in better understanding one another.
3. What great looks like. Stories that highlight examples of great leaders, teams, or projects reinforce what is valued and encouraged. These stories don’t have to be about heroes. Sharing how someone navigated challenges to a successful outcome can help others consider how to do the same when facing similar circumstances.

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Leaders never reach a moment where they are done shaping culture. Incorporate stories to reinforce your desired culture and discourage the behaviors of a toxic one.

Want to help your teams learn how to leverage storytelling? Start a conversation.

Learn more about my book The Perfect Story, How to Tell Stories that Inform, Influence, and Inspire