Can I Get a Witness???

Here I go again with a song invading my head and the repetition of words propelling me to process the thoughts surrounding the lyrics. This is the question I want to answer in this article is WHY?

• Why am I writing articles instead of focusing on the client work I need to complete?
• Why am I spending a lot of time on LinkedIn and BIZCATALYST when the likelihood of it resulting in future business is pretty slim. After all, I fully understand the principles of "dollar productive activity" and this kind of activity really doesn't qualify.
• Why am I departing from my primary business of ghostwriting for others and feel strongly compelled to write about my own experience - warts and all.

The Human Need For a Witness

I first was exposed to the concept of the importance of a witness when I watched something on TV. I don't remember if it was a movie or television show. What I do remember is it was said by the person officiating a wedding. He said the couple would be a witness to the lives of each other and pointed out the importance of this role. It stuck with me and it explains a lot about the longing to be significant to others...or at least acknowledged.

The song, "Can I Get a Witness" was made most popular by the Rolling Stones. However, before they put the tune out into the airwaves to become a hit, it had been recorded by both Marvin Gaye and The Temptations. Suspecting there was more to the phrase than a tune about being mistreated by a woman, I dug deeper.

The phrase turns out to be a very spiritual phrase used by African American pastors for a long time. When the preacher asks the congregation "Can I get a Witness?" he is asking for the congregation to affirm his statement with "Amen." You can learn more about the history of this song and this phrase here.

We ALL Need Affirmation

Earlier this week, one of the men made a comment about how he was alone - except for his wife. My emotional reaction and my comment was of jealousy. One person who is always present to witness our lives is a rich blessing. For those of you about to pull your hair out because your family is driving you crazy, try to imagine being totally alone other than the virtual connections made from a digital device. It's different and it doesn't provide the same level of connectedness.

I am connected to a very outstanding man. We've been going out to elegant restaurants about once per week and occasionally taking road trips together for almost two years. Since I am an introvert who really loves her own company, it has been enough companionship for me. While we have seen each other a couple of times as the lockdown has ratcheted down on our lives, it probably won't happen now because of the increasing risks. I miss him.

Way back in 2013, Psychology Today published an article about this phenomena. Called "The Power and Strength of Bearing Witness," It digs deep into this need and also quotes Maya Angelou (My favorite philosopher.)

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you.”

I guess Maya really hit the nail on the head. While I have work needing my attention, my need to tell my story is a powerful force in me.

How I Cope and Find a Witness

I mentioned the BIZCATALYST community earlier. While I suspect it will be much harder to participate in the community when I get back to a normal work schedule, for now the interactions with high quality people are extremely nourishing for me. I keep repeating my gratitude in my own comments because the appreciation I feel for this community is real and it is significant.

Yesterday, I had a study group meeting on Zoom. I used to participate in ACIM (A Course in Miracles) groups on a weekly basis. The ones I have found here in Houston just don't come close to matching the experiences I had in a couple of groups in the suburbs of The Woodlands and Spring. So, I have just tried to live by the principles and occasionally read a passage on my own. The connection I felt was just what I needed. Students of ACIM just think differently than those who haven't embraced the book. Because of the quarantine, one group had a Zoom meeting and I was able to participate. Again, I am grateful.

Gifts of the Quarantine

Things will be different after the quarantine. I would say when things become normal again, but we all know normal will be different in and of itself. We are in the process of redefining our priorities right now and all those who do more than survive will find a way to thrive as a result of this experience.

• New babies will be born this fall and their legacy will begin with this time of our lives stamped on it forever.
• Couples will decide to stop trying to make the marriage last. While divorce is thought to be a bad thing, I for one, can say it can be a wonderful opening to a new, more valuable life for the individuals who are parting ways.
• Efficiencies of digital relationships and workplaces are now more than theoretical. We've known we can save time, money and the environment by working at home for a long time. More business will take this experiment in virtual business and apply it to their operation long term.
• Memories will be made. However it's done this time will be memorable. Families who struggled, strategized and suffered will look back on these days as a defining time in the family unit. Couples will be forced to look at what their relationship means to them together and individually. People living alone will appreciate any witness they are able to conjure up for their lives.

We will be better in the days ahead. It is more than survival. It is transformation.