Can I get back to you on this?

The artwork below (artist unknown) is perhaps one of the best depictions of what coaching / counselling / therapy does for you – it may not solve your problems, but it will help you disentangle your thoughts, help you look at your challenges through different lenses, help you find a way forward.

At the very beginning of my career, I had an extraordinarily difficult time saying “No” to any task given to me by my supervisor, superintendent, other managers, colleagues etc. It was getting to the point that a couple of months into the job, I was already working evenings and weekends.

One of the kindly weekend shift workers always stopped by at lunchtime to say hello to me, and sometimes bring me a veggie sandwich from the local joint where they would go to eat. One day he was making coffee in the lunchroom, and while we were waiting for it to percolate, he said, “Based on my own experience, here is a suggestion: everytime someone other than your manager approaches you with a task, just say, ‘I am right now occupied with another task, can I get back to you in an hour or two?’ That will buy you some time to think it through, check with your manager if needed, and then respond in a suitable way..... If not that sentence, then something else, the end goal is to stop yourself from saying Yes immediately and thus making a commitment that is difficult to keep."

These are the precious moments that come into our life at the right moment – because someone cares enough to give us on-the-spot coaching. They are not professional coaches, but their experience, wisdom, and timeliness of their advice make them natural coaches. 

Edward Bulwer-Lytton wrote in Kenelm Chillingly (1897), “The best teacher (-coach-) is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with the wish to teach himself.”

 I took the counsel from my colleague, adapted it to my own personality, taught myself to apply it regularly, and it has stood me in good stead all through these years.