Can humour be toxic?

While trawling my reflection pool (which is like Superman's Fortress of Solitude, save the fortress and solitude) I came across a thought provoking idea, which caused me to grapple with something for a time.

The idea was the psychologically backed claim that some people use humour as a replacement for niceness.

Now of course, I make various jokes about my job, cause if you can't laugh while you work, you're either in the wrong profession, or a mime.

And some observations aside, it seems to be a culturally rooted idea - after all, I remember being told as a child that 'If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all'.

While this is problematic, in terms of not standing up to people committing various forms of abuse, or feeling comfortable enough to voice a contrary opinion, it can be the right call.

For instance, if you're mad, it's better to be silent than say something you'll regret. Unfortunately, I've seen many instances, albeit often in film, where, a man in particular, will result to really snide sarcasm.

As with all things, there's a time and a place - being funny, or trying to be funny in an emotionally heated moment can have the opposite effect of what you want - rather than breaking the tension, it can crank it up to 11.

Onto the main thing, I think the biggest risk for people using humour to avoid being nice is largely twofold types of people - the extremely frustrated and the self absorbed or narcissistic.? This latter group is the type who, rather than celebrate a friend/colleague's success would just as soon insert themselves, or put down the accomplishment. The former group may be slightly better intentioned, but really insecure.

Of course, no one is perfect - we all make mistakes - jokes at the wrong time, or jokes that just aren't funny. The main thing is that you learn from it. It shows that you're at least as much a person as generative AI! And not a narcissist, or someone else who thinks they're perfect.

Even humour can be used as a weapon, sometimes.

That's why I think it's important to think before you make a joke. Because humour has a ton of benefits! But also a lot of drawbacks when poorly timed or aimed at the wrong audience.

Tell me, dear readers, what's your take on this - is there merit to the idea of people using humour as a replacement for being kind? Be sure to share down below!