It Can Feel Like Flying

Earlier this year, I was speaking to a group of participants as an alum of our organization’s Leadership Development Program when a participant asks, “Does imposter syndrome ever go away?” I look at him and say, “I’ll let you know!” After the laughter dies down, I go on to tell him that, in my experience, most leaders, male and female, experience imposter syndrome to some extent. The question is what you do about it - how much do you let it actually manifest itself?

Fast forward 7 months and, since then, I’ve been named my group’s first Innovation Officer, taken a seat on our Global Leadership Team, won EWF’s Women of Influence award, been on the front page of CNN, joined Chief in its nascency, and been promoted. So, it has been a whirlwind of a year! And I am having more and more fun every day. I am incredibly lucky.

But it does feel like I’ve been running so fast that my feet are starting to come out from under me and about to take flight. And… suddenly, imposter syndrome is starting to manifest itself.

Harvard Business Review defines imposter syndrome “as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. 'Imposters' suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings of success or external proof of their competence.”

For me, it means that I’ll spend an hour typing content from a workshop rather than asking a more junior resource to help me. It means that I’ve shied away from taking enthusiastic, great people on my team because I’m not sure the path I’m on will necessarily provide them the career success they deserve. It means I haven’t tapped into my organization’s innovation network enough because I’m not sure how I’d fit in. And, yes, all despite clear evidence to the contrary.

But, let me be clear. It does not mean I’m shying away from pushing boundaries or am lacking confidence. On the contrary, I have taken bold risks this year and never faltered in my confidence that I was doing the right thing. I know my skills and what I’m capable of, and I don’t hesitate to ask for input.

I think that this is because I recognize the sound of imposter syndrome’s voice. Once I notice the beginnings of abnormal behavior or underlying thoughts, I force myself to take a step back and assess why. Is it because I am scared? Unsure? Out of my element? Need help? Once I understand why, the feelings seem smaller and I can tackle each one. “I’m doing this work myself because I don’t have dedicated people working with me, so maybe I should shuffle my team composition for more full-time resources.” Or “I am working alone because I don’t know who to reach out to in the innovation network, so I need to ask my own network to make introductions for me.” I tend to rely on books to learn something I need. I tried a few on imposter syndrome and am now reading “The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women” by Valerie Young, which has already been insightful and helpful.

My greatest champion and closest mentor, Rex Thexton, warned me last week about getting complacent with all the things that have happened in the past few months. But all I can think about is how much work I have ahead of me, how much more I have to do. And I simply can’t let myself (or imposter syndrome) stand in the way of that.

And, if you suspect imposter syndrome may be holding you back, take action! Start to notice the sound of its voice. Get in the habit of asking yourself why you may be behaving or thinking a certain way. Then make the changes necessary to put yourself back in control, so that you can get back to soaring!

Views are my own and don't reflect the views of my employer.