Can Dogs Do Your Taxes? 3 Great Tax Season Tips
Did you know that dogs are great at math? Statistics show the average bulldog is better at long division than most humans, aged 6-to-16. Poodles get together during tax season to help each other balance their ledgers. And the world record holder for the youngest accountant is...well, it’s 17-year-old Belicia Cespedes, but that’s just because there are seven dog years to every human year.
The point is, dogs love math, and they love accounting. But can dogs do taxes? And how do you train your dog to do basic accounting? Join us, today, as we bring you three great tips for turning your dog into an accounting whiz!
Ready? Good! Let’s begin!
Use Treats
It’s a simple truth: dogs need treats to learn. This is because they are very selfish animals, and will never do anything out of the goodness of their hearts. Just kidding...mostly. Your dog is a gift and he or she loves you very much.
Give them treats every month while forcing them to balance your books during tax season. Don’t worry: they enjoy the work. Slowly scale back the treats and, within a few months, you’ll have a world-class accountant who’s also completely addicted to Puppy Chow Super Good Boy Treats. A win-win solution!
Call Them a “Good Boy/Girl”
The two most important words in the dog language are “good” and either “boy” or “girl”. Dogs are very insecure animals. Dog accountants are even worse, especially around tax season. You need to remind them they’re good at what they’re doing, constantly, or they will forget and sink into a deep depression. And that’s bad for the books!
Some alternative nicknames could include:
- little buddy
- champ
- Rover, the best chartered accountant dog ever
Accounting School
Studies have shown that dogs who go to specialized doggy accounting schools are far more likely to succeed than their uneducated counterparts. A four-year degree will cost you somewhere in the region of $600,000, but it’s an investment that will start paying off the moment tax season starts.
And, when your dog isn’t doing your taxes, they can freelance, helping to bring money in from other clients. After a lifetime of feeding and caring for them, isn’t it time you got something back from that furry freeloader?
Can Dogs Do Taxes? They Can, and They Should
Ultimately, any dog owner who doesn’t take advantage of their pet’s natural ability to crunch the numbers is a chump. Make sure Fido knows how to audit accounts, report finances, and take care of your business. The better your finances, the more balls you’ll have on-deck to throw for your special boy or girl.
And remember: never trust your dog too much with your money. They’re morally bankrupt creatures and will move to Jamaica with your life savings in the blink of an eye if you’re not careful. Again - just kidding...mostly.
Want to teach your old dog new tricks? Trying to get ahead of the 2021 tax season? Check out some of our other awesome blog content, or get in touch, today!