Can Creating a More Balanced Life Make You a Better Communicator?

Some days it feels like living a balanced life seems equivalent to finding the elusive Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster. In fact, the phrase “when pigs fly,” would have a higher chance of happening in my own life. Am I alone in thinking that with all the latest technology and conveniences today, we should have more time to slow down and find balance? Yet, we’ve managed to fill it up with more things to do. 

That’s the way I thought until I recently learned something that abruptly changed my mind.  I hadn’t thought of it this way, however, the more I ponder it, the more it makes sense. Before I let you in on the secret, allow me to share an experience that I personally had:

About a month ago, I was on my way to making a big presentation when unexpectedly I was stopped right before going in the room. I was asked for information that started my mind reeling in a completely different direction. I went from being really focused on what I needed to present to a whirlwind of meetings, discussions, and thoughts from weeks before. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but when I talked to her a week later I could tell something was wrong. When I asked if she was upset with me, she did a great job at making me feel like the smallest person. In short, yes, she was upset. It became blaringly obvious that I miscommunicated my thoughts. What I was thinking and what I said were two very different things. It hurt at first because I know that I hurt her feelings and I would never intentionally try to hurt someone. Later, I was reflecting on what was said and I wondered if I could have handled the situation differently? Now that I have this new definition for a balanced life, I know I could have.

And now…. for the greatest secret to a balanced life! (At least, here’s my new definition):

Purposefully live each day. In everything you do, every person you’re with, focus that moment on what you’re doing and who you’re with. If you are at work, home, or wherever, make sure you are present. You are giving purpose to why you are where you are.  If you’re time is spent with someone, make sure that person feels important and loved. Realize that each person has value and lift them up. Give them the precious gift of your time.

I have days that are so booked that I know I need to stick to my schedule closely and divide my time wisely. Some days I overbook and then question myself, “Why did I do that?” The fact is, some days are just like that. We all have them.  I think we also have those weeks that we feel like our whole schedule is wake up… eat…. work… eat… go to sleep… repeat.  How different would your day look if at the beginning you prioritize where you will fill your purpose best? Doing this will help you feel like you’re living more balanced. Make sure you take the time to stop and ask yourself, “What is my purpose to this?” You might be surprised by your answer. 

For example, you’ve spent extra time on a project that normally wouldn’t take so long. If your answer is “because this is a special project and it’s important to get it right,” then there’s your purpose. If your answer is, “I don’t know,” then re-evaluate if this is the best way to spend your time. Another example: “Why am I spending so much time with my kids when they don’t seem to care if I’m there or not?” Perhaps your purpose is to create a level of support and love, whether or not it’s appreciated at the moment. Is that worth your time?  The reason behind “your purpose” is personal to you and as long as it’s worth it, then your life will feel much fuller and more balanced for doing it.

I’ll admit, my situation with my friend wasn’t ideal, but then again, when is it ever?  I was so focused on where I needed to be at that time that I didn’t just stop and take a couple minutes necessary to shift my focus towards this person and give her my undivided attention.  Or, even better, I could’ve taken 10-15 seconds to say, “I’d love to talk with you, but I need to get set up for this meeting. Can I call you later today?”  In that short time, I would’ve conveyed to her that what she had to say was important and then gave her a specific time frame when she knows to expect my call. I would’ve had more time to collect my thoughts before we talked and I’m willing to bet that I could have saved myself a lot of time, heartache, and wouldn’t still be dealing with the fall-out from it a month later.

So maybe finding balance is not a matter of making sure that every little thing in your life gets the same amount of time, but each thing has its own time and its own purpose. There are so many benefits to living a more balanced life through purposefully living and being a better communicator is just one of them.  I look forward to my future discoveries to the benefits of using this technique.

I’d love to know what you think.