Can children really make their own decisions about what they want to learn??

Is it possible for children to define what they want to learn and still leave school with useful skills? I often hear parents argue against this approach because they say something like, “If my child went to that sort of school he/ she wouldn't do anything more than just play on the iPad all day”. They really believe that their child would do nothing and learn nothing, and are scared to see their children leave school without the “right sort” of education.

These sorts of comments also reflect a deep held belief that parents don't trust their children to make choices that are right for the child. They don't trust their children to know what is good or bad. The sad thing is that this lack of trust is reflected in the school system itself. Children are not given any room to define what they want to learn and when, because essentially no one believes that children can make these sorts of decisions.

I find this such a conflicting message. I don't believe that parents had to force their children to move from drinking milk to eating solids – it happened naturally, when the time was right. None of us as parents are forcing our children to grow teeth to a timetable, or to learn to walk or talk. So why should this natural development suddenly change once our children get to school? How is that when they were babies we trusted the process, and we trusted our children to develop at a pace that was right for them? How did we trust them then, and suddenly stop when they get older??

Every summer I run a Summerschool local to where I live. Our programme is designed to invite the kids to decide what they want to learn and when. In the first day or so we get a lot of requests along the lines of, “can we do such and such”, and we try to say yes as often as possible. By the middle of the second day the kids have got the message, and they come bounding up to us with statements, “we're going to build a boat”, “we're going to set up a football tournament”...... and so it goes on all week. We see the kids grow in confidence, learn about team play, take responsibility, solve problems and generally grow as people. I see that children are perfectly capable of knowing what to learn and how to go about it. The problem is that school and grown ups get in their way.

When I consult with schools to help change how teachers work with the kids, I help teachers move to a collaborative, growth mindset. When teachers can achieve this shift it is magical to see how their classroom can change, and how the relationship between teacher and children transforms. Suddenly a conversation emerges and there is dialogue on the deepest level. This sort of work is transformational, and the effect on the class, on the individual child and their grades is astonishing.

Every time a parent or a teacher does something for a child; that they are capable of doing for themselves we send a subtle message that says, “you are not capable”, “you are small and need defending”. Do we really want out kids to be getting these messages? Surely we would like our kids to understand and live their potential and power. And surely the ultimate way to let this happen is to help children be able to make their own decisions about what they learn and when?