Can Charisma Be Learned?

Do you think highly charismatic people are born or made? When I asked my twitter followers this question, over 90% of them responded that they believe that charisma can be learned.

I agree with them. It’s a huge, limiting myth that you have to be born with strong people skills and a highly attractive personality in order to be charismatic. Research has proven that charisma can be learned just like any other skill when you know the right actions to take.

Here at the Science of People, we’ve spent years synthesizing mountains of research into actionable strategies to help you become more charismatic. In my book Captivate, I go even deeper and outline the science of charisma into fourteen specific people skills hacks that teach you how to adopt the secrets of naturally charismatic people.

In the meantime though, I’m going to share with you an insider tip that will immediately improve the way you interact with people.

Check it out:

Congruence is the Key to Charisma

I have found that one of the most important characteristics of charismatic people is congruency. Congruency is when your words, your actions, and your beliefs are all aligned. Highly charismatic people don’t just say they value certain qualities or want to accomplish particular goals – they live all of that out. People like being around them because they are exactly who they say they are.

While this may sound simple, most of us are incongruent far more often than we realize. Think about it: does the way you talk change drastically depending on who you are with? Do you fail to back up all of your words with actions? Do you ever going into situations that make you nervous and act like a different person? If so, you struggle with congruency.

I, myself, have had to work hard to become as congruent as possible and still sometimes struggle with it. When I’m really nervous at a party, it’s hard to come across as confident even though it’s something that I really want.

If a lack of confidence is preventing you from being your most congruent self, check out my book Captivate.

In it, I go beyond the secrets of charisma and explain dozens of science-backed strategies to help you understand yourself, become more confident, and know exactly how to make a positive impression in any situation.

Your 3 Strategies to Become More Congruent and Charismatic

Congruency is something that we all struggle with at times. However, becoming more congruent is easier than you may think. Here are three strategies you can begin implementing to become more congruent – and charismatic – today.

1. Give yourself a congruence audit. Before you begin making improvements, you need to be aware of the areas of your life that you are the least congruent it. Make a list of all of your values and the traits that you feel define you. Then honestly and critically compare that list to how you act in various areas of your life. The areas where you don’t behave as your most authentic self are the ones you need to work on.
2. Set goals to become more congruent. Once you know what situations bring out your least congruent self, think about what brings out your less authentic side. Perhaps, like me, it’s social situations that make you nervous? Maybe a person who brings out the worst in you? Are there certain times of the day where you lack the energy to show your true personality. Whatever it is, identify it and find ways to overcome those barriers. If you’re struggling with an issue, we have hundreds of articles that may help you, just use the search bar to the right or tweet me @vvanedwards for help on a topic we haven’t covered.
3. Avoid going out on bad days. Even the most charismatic people fail to be congruent when they decide to socialize on bad days. When you’re not feeling your best – physically, emotionally, or mentally – it is impossible to interact with people at your highest level of charisma. Even if you try to look happy, your face will betray you by subtly showing signs of your hidden emotions. It is much better to opt out of going to a non-necessary event than it is to show up and be unable to give people your best self.

This is just the start! If you want to learn more human behavior hacks check out my book Captivate

Ever wonder what makes people tick? Want to know the hidden forces that drive our behavior? In Vanessa Van Edwards new book Captivate, she explains a simple blueprint for hacking human behavior. In this science packed, anti-boring guide you will learn:

• The formula for fascinating conversation
• How to walk into a room full of strangers and make a killer first impression
• What to do to increase your impact and income using people skills
• Our strategy for hacking the people code–we call it the matrix (Keanu Reeves not included with each book sale)
• The art and science of understanding people

Learn the new–science based way for winning friends and influencing people.