Can chaos & creativity be friends?
Michele Emery Henshaw
Child of musically gifted mental health challenged parents. Understanding creativity and the mind. Passionate about uncovering, editing & rewriting the stories we are given & create. Therapist | Writer | Coach | Speaker
Hi, I'm Michele. I'm a terminally curious and sometime creative muiltipotentialite. Phew, there, that feels better. It might the first time I've said that out loud. Now, in case you're immediately thinking "What a #@!*" (insert profane insult of choice), give me a minute to win you round.
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I'm the child of wildly creative but chaotic parents: jazz musician Dad and opera singing, Latin American dancing champion Mum. I'm also a result of over 20 years working in the creative industries and working for, and with, some of the best creative minds in the world. That might seem a bold claim, but I honestly believe it's true. I've spent a lifetime studying creativity and mental and emotional health, trying to work out whether there's a connection. There is. But maybe not in the ways you would think.
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The frustrations of creative expression, or lack of, might seem like obvious indicators or triggers for poor emotional health, but there are many more chapters, pages and designs in this story.
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I turned to psychological studies very early in my life, about nine years old to be exact, in an attempt to understand the chaos my parents seemed to perpetually create and live in, and to try to understand their very different but very real mental health challenges. My Dad had two, what they used to call 'nervous breakdowns' and my mother was a diagnosed violent paranoid schizophrenic. Yep, things were never dull at our place, that's for sure. But there were many moments of pure unadulterated joy and creativity, usually involving music and art. I loved those moments, but they were always tinged with a little niggling, fearful thought, "How long will this last?" "When will this descend into chaos or violence?" Well, maybe I didn't use words like 'descend' when I was nine, but you get the picture. As a child, I thought the only way to escape the chaos and trauma I experienced was to understand it better so that I could change it.
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The local library became my happy place. It was where I was free to learn in my own way and at my own pace. School never allowed me to do that. I couldn't learn the way they needed me to. I needed to hear stories, creative and inspiring stories and stories about real people making real changes and differences. I learned that everything is story, and everyone has a story. I read books that allowed me to escape into and explore other worlds, creative works of fiction and fantasy but I also read books on psychology, neuro anthropology (I know...I didn't know what it was either 'til I read the books) and I read inspiring biographies and autobiographies about incredible people. As I read, I started to notice something interesting. Many of the biographies and autobiographies I read and case studies that the psychology books cited, were about 'creative' people. I found it fascinating. Here's a tiny selection of what I've learned as I've delved deeper into it all...
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There's much more to it all of course but I wonder if you're recognising yourself here anywhere as you read this? I wonder if, like my parents and so many of the incredible creative souls I've worked with over the years, you tell yourself a story about what creativity is and what it needs? I wonder if, like my beautiful Dad, you torture yourself for not being able to focus, not having enough space to think, having too many ideas or being messy and chaotic? I wonder whether either of my parents would have felt better about themselves if they'd realised it was just their creative genius skewing things, quite literally the design of their brains, the wiring. As a writer and bibliotherapist, I like to think in terms of stories and books. My parents’ books had all the chapters, just not necessarily in the right order. That didn't make their stories any less fascinating, inspiring or evocative, just difficult for others to follow.
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What difference does it make to know all this though? Well, for me, as a child of chaotically creative parents and as a minor creative myself, it just helps me to make sense of things and maybe judge myself, and them, less harshly. It also allows me to understand my needs and tendencies much better and to design the way I work and live to suit those needs. I know my own pace, know what environment I need to work in, know that I need regular breaks, time alone and, at times, total distraction, usually in the form of being outdoors messing about in nature or music, any kind of music, often involving a bit of a boogie too. It also, of course, helps me to understand and empathise with my fab creative clients and work with them to find ways of working and living that create time and space for the kind of creativity that lights them up.
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One of the first creative directors I worked with, the late but very great Michel Huét, used to spend hours just sitting, staring at a wall or even drawing on the walls (much to the dismay of the MD). To many, it might have looked like doing nothing, skiving, but Michel knew what he needed to spark his creativity...space. He made sure there was plenty of it built into his days and he encouraged his team to create it too. I still do. It's one of my 'non negotiables'. Do you? Maybe you should. No shame, no guilt. If it's what you need it's what you need. Let's turn back the clock on perceptions when it comes to creativity. What do you say? You with me?
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'til next time I have ramblings to share, if you'd like to know more about me and what I do, you can do that at the links below.
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Take care. Make space.
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Michele
Let's connect:
Email: [email protected]
Neurodiverse Visual Anthropologust
1 年So glad I came across your piece Michele. Incredibly insightful and uplifting. From this creative mind, I thank you ??