Can adopting a coaching approach help you become a more inclusive leader?

It depends.

A big part of adopting a coaching approach to leadership is the shift from telling to asking, a shift toward greater curiosity. It’s not just a shift in how you talk to others, but a genuine shift in your mindset.?It means embracing not already knowing all of the answers, so that you become open to exploring more possibilities.

And that changes your relationship with others and with learning about the structural -isms (racism/sexism/heterosexism/cis-sexism/ableism/etc).?

When you shift from scolding a person for regularly arriving late to having a conversation in which you ask non-judgmental questions about what is causing them to show up late, that opens the door to learning about issues like ADHD and time-blindness, or other structural issues like difficulty finding reliable and affordable childcare. Continuing to be curious and asking non-judgemental questions can lead to brainstorming some accommodations that don’t really cost you much (if anything), and make both of your lives easier. And that’s great.?

To move from reactive accommodations for a few individuals who feel safe disclosing their issues with you to proactively creating a more inclusive environment for all, you need to combine this mindset shift with ongoing learning. I’ve met plenty of coaches who are great coaches with their demographic, but haven’t done this work, and, well, I found them disappointing. Coaching on its own is not a cure-all for everything wrong in the workplace.?

But that mindset shift toward curiosity and openness makes it so much easier to listen and learn about structural issues. Practicing active listening helps you to truly hear what others have to say about their experiences.?

Because I spent years focusing on equity and inclusion issues, these topics will always be part of everything I do.?

One of the many little ways that shows up is in the way I introduce coaching skills like active listening and paying attention to a person’s body language. As coaches, we learn to pay attention to shifts in a person’s body language or energy. Some articles outline specific body language cues to watch for. I will never do that, because any list of cues is going to reflect the norms of that speaker’s worldview. Instead, we need to get to know the people we work with, and learn what is normal for each of them, and be attentive to shifts away from each person’s “normal”. For example, if you rely too heavily on eye contact as a sign of attention or respect, then you’re going to completely misinterpret signals from autistic folks.?

The need to understand structural racism and other forms of oppression also shows up in discussions with leaders who want to adopt a coaching approach with a diverse team, because building trust is an important component of developing a coaching relationship. Why should a BIPOC member of your team trust you when you try to shift into coaching mode if you don’t regularly demonstrate an understanding of the ways these issues affect them, or worse, if you regularly commit unintended microaggressions??

I’d love to hear from you in the comments what other examples that come to mind for you of how an understanding of structural oppression shows up, whether in the way you coach others or the way you discuss coaching skills.?